Wednesday, October 15, 2008

W.W.W. featuring Roddy Piper and WCW Superstars

On Wednesdays, we here at LOL, Wresslin' like to really pull out the stops and offer up a double shot of righteously killer content. Why Wednesday? Well, we could impress you with market research, work habit studies, and human psychology tendencies to show you there's a scientific reason the middle of the week is the best time to bring your A-game. However, truth be told, we don't have any of that stuff and settled on Wednesday because that was the only day that didn't have any content scheduled.

So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays." Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.

Better at naming stuff than us.

The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your mash-up of wrestling goofs with "Yakety Sax" in the background ain't gonna fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.

After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.


Matt's Video to Adam - Roddy Piper searches for the "Mad Dog"






Adam's response...

Ah, a beautiful autumn afternoon! A great day for a picnic! Not a care in the world or whim to be had! What could ever go….wrong? Wait honey. Did you see something? You’re right. It’s probably….nothing.

There it is again.

I swear, I saw some man over in the shrubs crawling on all fours over there. He’s muttering something. I can’t make it out. Lad Flog? Where is the Cad Smog? Are those steel chains…oh my God. He’s behind that tree. OH NOES! HE’S SPOTTED US AND IS NOW CHASING US! QUICK! RUN!

Huff….huff…I think we….lost him. Yea…I think we’re ok….just let…me…catch my breath and wash my face off at the….OH GOD! NOT AGAIN! Please sir…I don’t know where you could find this Mad Dog! I really don’t know a Mad Dog…no I’m not lying…ok…maybe I know a few….




Now things are getting too weird. Rockabilly…a Chevy that only drives 3 feet after being parked for 10 seconds (I mean, seriously…tape to tape editing isn’t that hard). This lunatic is still raving about the whereabouts of this Mad Dog! He’s serious. He’s frothing with hatred for the Mad Dog. He can barely breath. And he got those chains made especially for the Mad Dog. It’s like he’s the Undertaker when he builds specialty caskets, except this mad man got his chains custom made at the pit bull factory.

Wait. What the fudge is a pit bull factory?

Ok, I can’t keep this up anymore. This is where the promo really falls off for me. First there’s the pit bull factory and then…wait. Are those people walking in the background? Just normal folks going for a stroll while a big man rants and raves about a mad dog to a single camera? Although I know it’s not true since I’m watching this, I kind of like the idea of a homeless Roddy Piper just cutting promos to a shopping cart with a cardboard tube attached that he calls a “camera.”

And I can suspend disbelief for a lot in this promo, but seriously, “I don’t drink”, Hot Rod? When did you make this promo? When you were incubating in your mother’s womb?

That Chihuahua in the little Mad Dog shirt is adorable.

Continuity and sanity aside, this promo is pure genius. I starts as a horror movie, get’s even more terrifying with the ghost car/juke box, and then delves deep into insanity. I love the idea of a raving lunatic with an audience. But you know what I love even more? The hang man at the very end. Not because it looks bad ass (although that’s part of it). No, what I really love is the specialty “BUZZ SAWYER RIP” Piper is sportin’. Granted, Piper isn’t Buzz Sawyer, but I somehow wish he was. I really like the idea of a suicide note tee-shirt.


Adam's Video to Matt - WCW Superstars on the Dating Game



Matt's response...

There are days when this is easy. There are days when this is hard. And then there are those rare days when it is so easy, it becomes hard (that’s not a sex joke, by the way, though it easily could be). This is one of those days.

I know what is must have felt like to be a prospector in California in the 1800s. There’s gold evr’whur!! Seriously, this video may as well be subtitled “South Africa” there’s so many gems lying around. The best I can do is to provide a stream of consciousness as I wade through the fertile waters of the WCW Super(?)stars on the Dating Game.


Less gold than this video.

Chuck Woolery. I miss that guy. Anyone remember Scrabble? And I love how clueless he seems to be when introducing these guys. What exactly is a “jerichowahlic?” And speaking of Jericho, he may look like a wrestler from the neck down, but that hairdo screams girl’s restroom of a John Hughes film. Kidman performs sleight of hand magic? I wonder if that’s what he used to impress Torrie Wilson. Maybe he should try to pull a shiny new job out from behind some four-year-old’s ear.

Disco Inferno eats sushi, gambles in Vegas, and listens to classical music. Wait, hunh? Gambles in Vegas? That’s something you’re proud of? This is what you say to impress a lady? “Hey honey, I just blew my entire monthly income at the MGM…wanna start a life together?” Also his highlight is pretty weak. Can’t you show him actually beating a guy up?

So now we get to the lucky lady of the evening. She’s a grad student…nice. Russian lit and history…brainy, ok. She watches wrestling all the time. WHAT?? Let me say, also, that she’s pretty bangin’. Ok, sure, she has a mouth that looks like it you’d find a hook in it, but for most of us wrestling fans, she’s hotter than any chick we normally see at events. Her questions to the “bachelors” aren’t all that interesting, although Jericho seems very interested in making himself known. I think that’s cheating.

She asks Disco if he’s ever faked anything in his life. Oh, I don't know...

My entire career?

Jericho does provide an interesting answer to the “Erin day in Tiny Town” question. He says you don’t have work, get out of bed, or even wear underwear! That’s what happens when it’s your day? Hell, I’ve had plenty of those! In fact, I think I can retroactively pronounce March of ’06 to be Matt Month! Celebrate, folks!

So at the end of all this, Jericho wins. Big surprise. He may as well have just screamed, “I’m WCW Champion Chris Jericho. Let’s bang!” I should be happy for the Hawaiian-bound couple, but I’m left with a tinge of sadness. You see, here’s Lionheart, acting all macho and big and bad, but Disco’s the one that answered all the questions like a gentleman. He got all the “ooo’s” and “ahhh’s” from the audience. What a sweet guy…and he gets burned. Erin, you’re a typical female. Hope you enjoyed your forced date.

I guess I’ll have to start tying my hair up and smiling like an alien.
Posted by Adam and Matt, The LOL, Wresslin' Laugh Twins at 9:42 AM

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)