The King of the Jungle

Hopefully you're all aware that last night was Batista's first night on Raw as the new champion. We at LOL, Wresslin' thought we'd celebrate. If there's one thing we love, it's people who name themselves after animals. And not a particular animal, just any animal. You could say Batista pulled out a trump card and named himself after every animal, and we could say that as well. In fact, we will.

We thought it'd be appropriate to mark this momentous occasion by recalling Batista's long-standing love affair with championship gold. Like that loveable idiot at the grocery store who just can't seem to get the plastic bag for his vegetables open, he's going to stand there and keep trying until he gets it, damn it. Except Batista doesn't eat vegetables; he eats meat. Raw meat. Because he's an animal, you know.

A rather well-armed animal at that.

We'll start our trip down memory lane on April 3rd, 2005, when Batista challenged and won the World Heavyweight Championship for the first time by facing Triple H at Wrestlemania 21. Using the finest research tools at our disposal, LOL, Wresslin' has concluded that since that time, Batista has participated in 23 championship matches. Factor in he spent half of 2006 sidelined due to injury, and also strung together an impressive eight consecutive shots at the title, we would like to crown Dave "The Animal" Batista as the wrestler "Most Likely to be in a Championship Match in 21st Century."

This is Batista's fourth reign as World Heavyweight Champ, and we'd simply like to congratulate him. It reminds us of the old saying, "Even a blind squirrel can find a nut every once in a while," and sir, you seem to have found four.

"Care for two more?"