OH BABY, I like it RAW!!

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coarsing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremecy has charged both of them up enough provide handy recaps to the previous week's show. That way no new viewers would feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

For a theme song to go along with this blog post, please press play and enjoy...

Here we have the first Raw after No Mercy, broadcast from Seattle, so let's recap what they had in store for us. First, Jericho comes out touting quite a mouth shiner (I don't know if that's what you call it, but that what we call it) saying that Adamle is off tonight and he's in charge. Because that's how the chain of command works. And as we've learned in the past, it's never a bad idea to put a wrestler in charge. They won't do ANYTHING in their own interests and only make decisions that benefit the show as a whole. They would never deny someone a shot at the belt, only to put that someone in a Number 1 Contender match with themselves as ref, and two other enemies of that someone as time keeper and commentator...oh wait, Jericho did that? To Batista? Oh ok, well screw me then.

Canadian.

Big surprise that Batista powerbombed him to end the first segment. After that, Raw was pretty much forgettable. Santino had a match against Jamie Noble, and since Jamie Noble is an easy target, we'll spare him for now (Author's note: Jamie does think that Waffle House is a fine night on the town, so that garners him some street cred with us.) Santino decides to show his love for his favorite NBA team...

FAT!

OHHHHH! I get it! Because the Seattle team moved to Oklahoma City and renamed themselves the Thunder. Oh, Santino, that MUST be a sore subject to these fans. You probably should have decided to wear that shirt some other time.

Then Kofi fought Priceless. No, not the entire team, just Ted DiBiase, Jr. Speaking of, they should probably either name the stable Priceless, or just Junior, because it's getting a little confusing.

Priceless ends up winning this match, because he cheats or whatever. So, you mean to tell me the clearly better athlete didn't win this contest? And here I was raised to believe guys from Jamaica could do anything.

These guys competed in the Olympics.

Shawn Michaels came to fight Lance Cade in a No Disqualification match. Know what that means happened? The same thing that happens during a regular match, only the ref doesn't have to have his back turned/be knocked out/trip and fall out of the ring/tie his shoes/check his auctions on eBay. As you can imagine, this thing was intense...


Oh, and Batista won his match, even though the cards were stacked against him. Know why? He's THE ANIMAL!!!


There you go! Everything you need to know to keep up this week! Tune in 9/8c on USA and drink it in.