1) Twenty teams with ten per conference, five per division. The playoffs will consist of top four seeds in each conference playing a best of five series, with the finals being best of seven. Cities already vying for XBA franchises include Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Brooklyn, Fort Lauderdale, Toledo, Birmingham, and oddly enough, Denver (who will be known as the "Thuggets".)
2) MyNetwork TV has agreed to forgo its plans of magic awards and Law & Order reruns to broadcast the "XBA Game of the Week" every Wednesday night at 9:25 PM. This will be followed by the Shelton Benjamin hosted post game show "Don't Try and Stop the Funk on a Particularly Nasty Dunk."
3) Halftime shows will consist of cheerleaders acting dumb around a male cheerleader in drag, A Randy Orton promo that will only be two sentences long, repeated attempts at dunking by Hornswaggle, and HHH fucking a corpse.
4) All teams will have black as their main color..because it's extreme.
5) Michael Cole and Matt Striker will call most games. WWE and XBA officials will advise watching games on "Mute." This is all a ploy to boost attendance.
6) Pops Mensah-Bonsu will be league MVP. This has been decided.
7) Underutilized players will be cut and eventually play for TNABA. It is there that they will learn that they didn't play due to "politics", but because they do, in fact, suck.
The XBA kicks off this summer, so be sure to catch it! What are you going to do? Watch the WNBA?
2 comments:
I was really hoping they'd include trampolines, a center hill, and the ball being fired out of an air cannon instead of a tip-off. Oh well...dare to dream.
Come on Chase, this isn't Slamball we're talking about here!
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