Click this button!His real name is E. Robert Frank, but we just lovingly refer to him as "Pood." This is our opportunity to show off his finest work. Now, his videos violate the rules of our normal W.W.W. column, being user-created, so we're dubbing this W.P.M.: Watch Pood Monday.
What makes Poodleface so amazing is that he is a man of many talents. In addition to being a wrestling fan, he is a video editor, and a rather good editor. He found the natural rhythm of 1980's Ric Flair promos, edited them together, add a funky bass line, and made some pretty sweet songs. So, from Pood's mind to your ears, here are two of his masterpieces:
"A Tribute to 'Custom Made'" by Adam
I don't even know where to begin. I know we often have a fun little time here makin' light of "wresslin", but there is one thing I rarely take lightly. And that is The Nature Boy, Ric Flair. You know (tm) this. So to see this lovingly crafted song made in dedication to Slick Ric, well, I'm pretty much speechless.
Truth be told, it starts out extremely strong. Ric Flair chops Sting on every downbeat. Arn Anderson introduces us to the man, and we're into the main verse. This is what made Naitch so great. He's putting over not just Wally Carvaugh (the great wrestling promoter!), but also the city of Winnipeg. Neither of these are worthy of being put over.
Now, using the finest research tools at my disposal, I was not able to find a thing about Wally Carvaugh. Not one. I was able to find some information about the guy who played Bastion Booger. But not one thing about Wally Carvaugh. So, is he really a "great wrestling promoter"? Unlikely. And Winnipeg? Manitoba? That place? They couldn't even keep their NHL team! In Canada, for Rice Cakes! Thank God the arena burned down after Ric came through, because otherwise those buffons may have tried to kidnap the Nature Boy (read the comments).
Of course, it's not all humilty for the World Champion. And why is that? Well, he just can't help it. He can't help that he's custom made. He can't help it, but he'll tell you this. He can't help that he looks good, smells good, woo! Can dance all night long!
Woo! Dance all night long!
Woo! Dance all night long!
I know I just recapped the lyrics. Blatently. That shouldn't count for content. But it does, because I live my life by that chorus. You saw. I was custom made. Ladies, you know I look good, smell good, can dance all night long! I'm not boasting. I live my life by the code of the Four Horseman (and to a lesser extent, Evolution), because that's what life should be about. Be the man you want to be, and you will be him. I get it. Ric gets it. Poodleface gets it.
Now you get it.
So is this song a bit masturbatory? Well, since Ric didn't make it, no it's not. But it certainly doesn't have Flair come across as "humble." But he shouldn't be. He's the world champion. Sure, wrestling isn't legitmate competition, but being world champion still means something. It means a giant, multi-million dollar company wants "you" to be their face. It means you get to refer to your junk as "Space Mountain" and tell 18 year-old-girls to make poor descisions and not only be accepted, be cheered and celebrated in song!
And why? Because he just can't help it.
Matt's Tribute to "Just Like That"
Let me simply provide a visual list of all the things that Ric Flair can procure "just like that":
Take another look at those and ask yourself one question: How many times have I demanded any one of these things and got them at the snap of my fingers? I would wager that total to be "zero." And that, my friend, is the true essence of The Nature Boy.
Which is why I love "Just Like That" so much. I will admit, trying to pick your favorite of these two videos is like trying to pick your favorite foot, provided one of them isn't a club foot. "Custom Made" introduced me to the genius of Mr. Face; it's upbeat tempo and over-the-top Flair moments have had me doubled over with laughter and dancing all at the same time. But "Just Like That" is a different animal. Since I tend to prefer 80s power ballads over the straight rock tunes, so too does this video speak to me, utilizing a slower jam and a toned-down Flair that really speaks to the heart of the man.
This Flair doesn't yell. He doesn't have to. He simply goes out in front of the crowd and tells you how it is. He walks out with the custom-made clothes and the finest women in world today, and you know that you're dealing with a different class of person. Poodleface knows that too, and he is similarly low key, choosing to roll a simple but groovy bass line which surely was running through Flair's head at the time, whether he knew it or not. He sticks with this strategy for much of the video, mostly providing a background beat and letting The Man's words do most of the work.
While Flair is clearly the star of this film, and Pood the composer, I would like to focus on the bit players that really add the vinaigrette on this already awesome salad: Tony Schiavone and David Crockett. These two go together about as well as milk shakes and spaghetti. Crockett shoots Schiavone a look of barely-withheld distaste after Tony cuts him off at the very beginning. Poodleface points it out himself if you check out the description on the YouTube page. Sure, Crockett is the top dog on set, but can you blame Schiavone for stepping in and keeping this segment on the tracks? I mean, listen to the line of thought that Crockett was following before he was headed off at the pass:
Tony, there are a lot of people that can claim to be, but there's only one World Heavyweight Champion.
Well, Mr. Crockett, I'm curious. Who are these people that can "claim" to be the champion? Honestly, I don't think there's anyone who can claim to be the champ other than the one who, as Tony puts it, "wears the ten pounds of gold."
Shiavone acts simply as the collective mind of the audience, and he does a good job of it. He's mostly silent through the rest of the video, only offering amazed looks and the occasional shake of the head out of disbelief. How else are you supposed to act when confronted by the future sixteen-time champion other than to get out of the way? Tony knows it, Poodleface knows it, and you know it. Just pay attention, or you'll never get in line.
The tone of "Just Like That" is less is more. The chorus is a great example. It only consists of a few items, and half is only a snap of the fingers and a repeat of the title. A lesser video/audio artist would have filled that time with a lot of pomp and circumstance, but Pood understands that you need a little time to marinate and bask in the glow of Flair's excellence.
"Custom Made" is the perfect intro to the world of Pood. "Just Like That" is the wine that takes time to appreciate. It shows you the benefits of being a custom-made man, and YouTube user "danielria" sums it up as well as I can:
To all that doubt Ric's ability. Go take a look in the mirror and ask yourself if you have acomplished more in your life. I bet the answer is no.
snap...Just like that.
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