Tuesday, November 11, 2008

TnA for sure!

They must be furiously planning a ticker-tape parade in the TNA trailer, because they're about to get their very own article here on LOL, Wresslin'. We know what you're thinking: "Don't you have standards to uphold?" No. We don't. And whatever gave you that idea was terribly misinterpreted by you.

Now, to be fair, it's not like they did anything in the ring that made us take notice of them. But TNA is very good about creating a spectacle. Far better than the WWE, and not because they're better than the WWE. It's because when you hear about a celebrity or athlete making a guest appearance one TNA, you both wonder if you knew they still existed and then wonder why in the hell anyone would want to make a guest appearance with that company.

Which is exactly what we Laugh Twins thought when we caught wind of this little gag. TNA has invited former sportscaster, former mayor, former Vice Presidential candidate, current Alaska governor, all woman Sarah Palin to come visit and join "The Beautiful People." Actually, here's exactly what the article says:

TNA officials said a “Sarah Palin Ceremony” is scheduled for December 7 at its “Final Resolution” pay-per-view as part of her “Honorary TNA Knockout” membership in "The Beautiful People"...

Someone needs to break the quotation marks key over in the TNA media relations department.

They also say they'll donate $50,000 dollars to any charity she pleases. Which makes you think this is all a hoax, because who really believes that TNA has fifty grand to give anyone?

Now, we're all for public figures showing up on wrestling shows. Since Jesse Ventura isn't running things in Minnesota anymore, we can't think of politician better suited for a wrestling show than Sarah Palin. Not just show up either, but actually join a group! This sounds great!

Knowing nothing about "The Beautiful People," we dove into the finest research tools at our disposal. Here's what it had to say about them:

The Beautiful People is a heel professional wrestling stable, consisting of tag team Angelina Love and Velvet Sky as well as their associate Cute Kip. They're gimmick as a duo is that of arrogant blonde Barbie Dolls...

...This feud ended in defeat for the Beautiful People, with them losing to ODB, Rhaka Khan, and Rhino...

...They then began a feud with Christy Hemme...

And....you're out, TNA. I see a lot of problems with this scenario. First, they're all blondes. That's their gimmick, as it says. So Palin is a pretty stupid pick for the next member. Second, they lost to a dead rapper, possibly an over-the-hill singer, and a fat, horned animal. Only one of those is a formidible opponent. And third, who would want to ally themselves with someone who takes on one as cute and spunky as Christy Hemme? That's party foul!

No no no. If you're going to do this, do it right. Offer Governor Palin something worth riding a caribou down to the lower 48 for. Give her a spot as the Dudley B--er, uh--Team 3D's manager. She'd fit right in!

1 comment:

Clint said...

Has there been any discussion of the Texas Tech O'Lineman Stephen Hamby? He is known as Mankind and apparently body-slammed his way into the starting line-up...