OH BABY, I like it RAW! the MIKE KNOX edition!!

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

For a theme song to accompany this post, please click play and enjoy...



RAW IS JERICHO!!!11!1 OOOO YEAAAAHHHH!!! The king is back on top. The lion in his jungle, all is right with the world. What could this week possibly bring? Well, let's find out.

Oh, no surprise we have "the Animal" Batista demanding rematch. I'm sure the GM will come right down and approve this ma--oh wait, we don't have a GM anymore!! Who is calling the shots around here?? Are the patients going to run the asylum??

Well, of course not. This isn't the Wild West, and even though the show is in England last week, the long arm of the McMahon's can still reach across the pond. Via satellite. Yeah, Steph can't be bothered to hop the flight with the rest of them and is simply watching things go down from WWE Tower.

Sorry, Steph. Had to.

She says no, Batista will not be getting a title shot tonight. He can have his rematch later. Of course, not wanting to go a segment without being on the show, Randy Orton has something to say about that. Orton says Batista doesn't deserve a title shot, that he was the best one from Evolution. Well, disagreement being the heart of debate, Batista says that's not true and he was the best one from Evolution. Listen, you both make a convincing argument, seeing as it's the same one. I guess we're going to have to go to the visual evidence to sort this one out.

This?

Or THIS?!

They agree to have a match. Also fighting tonight are Jericho and Shawn Michaels FOR THE TENTH TIME EVER! This one apparently is the end the feud. Funny, I thought that feud was over a long time ago. I guess maybe there's been some backstage hijinks since then.

"Alright, Shawn, where'd you hide my pants while I was in the shower?"

Santino said he was now going to out-reign not just the Honky Tonk Man, but also Mr. Perfect and The Mountie as IC Champ. Well, good luck on all that since you lost to William Regal in less than a minute. Guess the Honk-a-Perfect-Mountie-Meter goes back to "zero."

Now that we've got all the bullcrap out of the way. It's time for the main event, and the show isn't even close to over. D'Lo Brown versus MIKE MOTHERF--KING KNOX. As far as I'm concerned, this is terrible booking, because I'm tuning over to the Food Network after this. A match this great is sure to stir up an appetite. Oh, I haven't seen Mike Knox in a while, not caring enough to flip over to ECW, so this should be a real joy to see what he's been up---OMG KILL IT KILL IT!!!


Seriously, not to overuse initials here, but WTF?? You know (tm), now that you work on a show with your ex-girlfriend, you'd think you'd want to show off a little bit. Show how you've got your things together and life's been pretty great even without her. Not come to work looking like you just found your way out of cardboard box.


And since I vaguely referenced Kelly Kelly a moment ago, I must oblige...

Why don't you love me??

Rey beat Kane, and it was a pretty good match, but I'm really starting not to care about them, and when I say "starting to" I mean "stopped caring a year ago." How many more times are we going to have to wonder how the smallest guy on the roster will beat one of the biggest guys on the roster? Oh my goodness. It's such a mismatch. This shouldn't be possible. What will Rey ever do to survive....and....end sarcasm.


Next, the WWE pulls a bait-and-switch, and not even a fancy one. Remember how I told you that Orton and Batista were going to fight? Well, that's right, provided we define "Orton" in this sentence to mean "Cody Rhodes." Honestly, both Batista and Orton come out, and the Code-man comes out and says "No, I'm going to fight Batista," and Randy just walks out of the ring. That works? Because I've been going about dating married chicks all the wrong way.

Cody gets squashed.


Way to walk the walk there, Codes.

Finally, we have a Last Man Standing match with Jericho and Michaels. A lot of back-and-forth with this one and a good match to end the show on.

OUT OF NOWHERE!!!!!

But JBL had to stick his fat ass into this and blast Michaels with a chair. I'm pretty sure he was not very happy about that when he came to, and unfortunately, it didn't seem to settle anything between Jericho and HBK like Stephanie wanted it to at the beginning of the show. Funny how letting anyone who wishes to interfere in a match do so seems to muddy the competitive waters a bit. If they only had a way to isolate the wrestlers so there was no possible means for anyone to get into the ring ....nah, that would be HELL to come up with.

Alright, see what Jericho's second week as top dog brings tonight at 9/8c on the only network for wrestling fans - USA!