R U READY TO DOWN SOME SMACK??? vol. 7

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

Two weeks ago we saw Jeff Hardy insert himself back into the main event picture after having attempted to win the title time and time and time again. GM Vickie Guerrero rightfully told him his time was up, but like a selfish addict (for titles, of course), he wouldn't hear that and essentially threw hissy fits attacking other wrestlers to prove how "serious" he was.

Anyways, one of those guys he pissed off was the Undertaker. So the main event was Jeff Hardy vs the Undertaker.....EXXXTREME RULES!!! To psych out the Undertaker for the match, Jeff debuted a new aspect to his character. And by that I mean he threw on some clown make up, started talking about how he lives in a world of gray, thus enabling him to do things others can't. Sort of reminds me of a character a certain deceased actor played in a certain movie that grossed a billion dollars.

You wanna know how I got these scars?

The other big event was the signing of the Survivor Series main event between HHH and Yackoff Smir...err Vladimir Kozlov.

Red carpet means it's important

Couple questions here: 1) Why is Chavo there? What business does he have being anywhere near a main event? Is he a notarizer? If so, where was he licensed? 2) Why aren't there any lawyers present? This is a contract signing, right?

Well, after talking about kicking each other's butts, The Clown Prince of Wrestling showed up again and decided to ruin it with his tom foolery.

Again dude? Really?

MVP must have been named in the Joseph McCarthy hearings, because there is no other explanation for his losing streak. This week that dirty Red lost to Funaki of all people. Funaki! True, his new "Kung Fu Naki" gimmick is kind of awesome (complete with "Kung Fu Fighting" esq entrance theme), but still. He lost to Funaki.

Kung Fu isn't Japanese, by the way. I'm just sayin'

At least this time the Great Khali interfered, so there was some explanation for the loss.



Divas action had Michelle McCool defend her title against Maria, who is #1 contender because she took her clothes off in Playboy a few months ago. After Maria tapped to the ankle lock, two retards named Jesse and Festus jumped into the ring and chased out McCool. Seems like the big lummox has a crush on the loser and wanted to give her a teddy bear. Awwwwwwwwwwwww.

What Megan's Law looks like on Earth-53

Also, since Michelle McCool was mentioned:

BOIOIOIOIOIOIOIING!

And finally, in the main event, The Jeffer took on The Undertaker it what was a pretty awesome match. Hardy was crazy, Undertaker was his usual self, and it took a lot of weapons and a leg drop off a ladder for put the Deadman down for the three. This earned Jeff one more shot at (non-title) HHH. He wins that one, then it's a triple threat for the title at Survivor Series!

Wrestling's so fake

We're only two days away from a real PPV! Watch Smackdown tonight, 8/7c on My Network TV! Do it! Do it!