A Flair for all seasons

Something very important happened on Saturday. Adam met the Nature Boy, the sixteen time World Champion, the jet flyin', limousine ridin', kiss stealin', wheelin' dealin', son-of-a-gun that is Ric Flair. Was it on the street? No. Was it at a fancy restaurant? Nope. It was at an autograph session with other Flair-iacs. Adam's date with destiny follows:

Saturday, November 1st was the day. 9:30 AM was the time. I know that getting up before 9 AM should be totally doable, but this is November 1st. One day after Halloween. Now, listen up you primitive screwheads and listen good. I live somewhere you country bumpkins can only dream of. New York City. And not Brooklyn or Queens with the other hipsters who think they "keep it real." No way bitches. I live in the bright lights of Manhattan. So getting up around 7:45 AM on the day after Halloween is more difficult then originally imagined. However, this is Ric Flair. He won't want to hear me bitching about being a little hung over. He would have just stayed up all night. Still, I'm not a sixteen time world champion, so I figured a three hour sleep was all I needed.

There's a 7:47 in the morning now?

Every photo from here on out courtesy of Intern Brian

Regardless, I got up, put on the custom made clothes, and ventured all the way up to Times Square's (ugh) Carolines Comedy Club. May seem like an odd location at first, but trust me, it became very appropriate.



First thing you notice. Everyone working the event was either in a suit (natch) or in a referee's uniform. I think that was a good call. When a collection of rowdy wrestling fans convene in one location, it's important to assert your authority from the start. They were all perfectly pleasant and led me and Intern Brian to our seats.



I'd say we may have been one of the last people to arrive. I'd estimate there were about 250 people there (it was a hot ticket, after all), so we probably clocked in at #'s 188 and 9, respectfully. This provided us a good look at the clientele who would come to a wrestling meet and greet ass early the day after Halloween. I doubt you'll be surprised:

Male to Female ratio: 235:15 (give or take 20 monsters)

Clearly thrilled

X-Pac Jr.

Still, there were a few bright spots. There was a celebrity in the crowd! Associate producer of The Opie and Anthony Show, Primetime Sam Roberts!

XM 202 The Virus

The only other bright spots were myself:

OH MY GOD I'M SO HANDSOME

and this gentleman. We seemed to be the only two men who knew how to style and profile there.:

Somewhere a mother is looking for her lost Terrycloth

What really concerned me was the sheer amount of negativity there. Like somehow meeting Ric Flair wasn't good enough. People just constantly wanted more. Like I said, we came in later. Towards the end. The organizers of the event were smart enough to tell groups when they can go up and meet Mr. Flair. So first up were the VIP people on the lower tier, then it would make sense that the people in the back row would go next, because they came earlier, and thus others would fill in as they came in. I had no problem with this. I paid my money. I was getting my goods and services. In fact, I'd of preferred to have gone later, because after you got your autograph and/or photo you had to leave the room. So basically, you're ushered into a crowded lobby where you can buy a drink at the bar

Thinking about that Andy Kaufman figure....

...and decided that Andy would tell those nerds to go away (this kitten has claws, right fellas?)

And one more because I think she's pretty and I'm weird.

Pointing out the coffee stain due to his incompetent nature

You brought a collapsing chair? To Times Square? Really? Really?

Or go out to Times Square and pay twelve dollars for a turkey sandwich. Wow, let me race to get to that finish line. Or, you can play it cool, grab a seat, and watch the 1992 Royal Rumble that they had playing on TV monitors. Ummm...gee, that's an easy choice. Still, the people around me were just...angry. Just typical crying about "this man was here after me and it's not fair that he's ahead of me in line!" One harpy...well more about her later.

Still, I eventually got up in line, met The Man, got an autograph on my Flair autobiography, shared a quick conversation about how well dressed we both were, took my photo and left the scene. I then got ushered into that lobby, dealing with the same characters again, now somewhat appeased as they bought more toys to adorn their dressers and window sills, and waited for the Q&A to begin.

At this point it's around 1:30, so I've been hung over/awake/hungry for the last six hours, so I was seriously considering jetting. But you know what, I paid for the cod dang thing, I should go. And thank God I did, since it was awesome.

I'm not going to recount every question asked, but to answer your initial questions: No, no, and Ricky Steamboat. Still there were a surprising amount of very good questions asked. A little girl asked Mr. Flair how he physically felt after his first match ("Great. I've been lucky and never had serious aches and pains that a wrestler has). Another question was asked as to who his best friend from Evolution was. Surprisingly, the answer was the Animal, Big Dave Batista. That's because HHH was married and Randy Orton had a girlfriend who later became his wife (booo!!!). So Dave was his wingman. Flair then told an amusing anecdote about he'd make Batista go shirtless in every bar, just to attract the ladies, and then the old Flair charm would take care of the rest (WOOOOO!!). Perhaps the best answer came from the worst question. Here's how it went.

Guy: What'syouradviceonsomeonetryingtobreakintothebusiness?

Flair: What?

Guy: Ummmm...what are...uh...yourwordsforsomeonewhowantstobeawrestler?

Flair: One more time.

Guy: I want to be a wrestler? Any advice?

Flair: Where are you training?

Guy: JasonKnightinWaterbury.

Flair: Huh?

Guy: Jason Knight in uhh...Waterbury, CT.

Flair: I don't think you're going to like my answer.

Guy: Well, ok.

Flair: I've never heard of him, so I wouldn't train with him. That's not a knock against his wrestling ability, but if I've never heard about him, he's not in the business. You want to work with someone who can call Stamford or Nashville and get you a job, or you're just wasting your time.

This went on for a few minutes. The Guy kept saying "ok, thank you" and interrupting Slick Ric, not for a second heeding this LEGEND'S advice. Basically, he got some bad news and just went home to cry.

Still, was Ric right to say this? Well, using the best research tools at my disposal, I've learned that Jason Knight is in fact a pro wrestler. He's a former ECW TV Champion, runs his own indy fed, and had a feud with Jazz. Yes, that Jazz.


So yes, Ric was right.

We also learned that Ric Flair treats his publicist/assistant like shit, making her get him drinks and constantly sexually harassing her to the delight of a crowd.

I was going to ask Ric how he got involved with this, but then thought better of it.

That was pretty much it. Seems like there's nothing to....oh wait! The hag! The unfuckable hag! She was seated near me while I was waiting for the autograph, and my oh my was she insufferable. She was one of the more vocal annoyed patrons. She went up to one of the organizers and told him that if she didn't go soon she "would not be happy" and then quietly bitched about how unprofessional they were, how they "sure cashed that check fast", and how this was "supposed to be a fun thing." In fairness, I know it was hell getting Charlene to cover her Denny's shift that morning, but I don't quite know what she expected. First off, short of molesting you, I don't know how the men running the event could be unprofessional. Yes, they cashed that check fast. They wanted to sell you a meet and greet with Ric Flair. And it was fun. Could is have been more fun? Sure, but I don't know how they would have gotten the Moonbounce and water slide broken down in time for the Eric Bischoff Q&A. But the real doozy came during the Q&A when she asked Ric what his plans were for the night, and added in that she was free. Here's a good look at her:

She looked an awful lot like Mac's mom from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

After swallowing the puke that came up, Mr. Flair graciously told her the truth that he had plans that night with a much more attractive woman.

Still, Ric was a class act. He was as gracious as he could have been given the circumstances, and seemed generally flattered that so many people would pay money to shake his hand. Lord knows he made me happy.




PS- On a non-wrestling note, I also met Bruce Campbell that evening. Saw his new film, My Name is Bruce. It was awesome. Anyway, there was a Q&A after the showing, and Bruce gave me $5! Leave comments for the full story.

PPS- Final score: Adam: 2, Bad Weekend: 1. Eat it, bitches!