Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.
For a theme song to accompany this post, please press play and enjoy...
Armageddon came and went last night, and you didn't even notice. What a sad existence you must have if the end of the world didn't even get you off the couch. Pathetic...
First up from Raw's side we have the Number 1 Contender's match for the IC Title. That's right, a hotly contested match to see who will be the challenger for the runner-up belt. We have Rey Mysterio going mask to face with C.M. Punk. It's so great that either way this turns out, we're going to have a good guy taking on William Regal. What a wonderful coincidence.
C.M. Punk wins, proving once again the power of a can-do attitude and a completely clean drug test.
JBL comes out and says that HBK is now working for him. Apparently they've started JBL & HBK, LLC.
HBK says he lost a lot of money in the stock market, and doesn't want to become one of those guys bagging groceries to make a living. Hmm...now where have I seen that before? Nevermind, I can't place it. He also said he didn't want to be limping around a high school gym when he's older. Now who in world could he be talking about there?
The divas were decorating a Christmas tree and Santa Haas showed up to deliver his present to them (I can think of something I'd like to stuff in their stockings...) Santino and Beth Phoenix came in talking some mad noise, but then the Boogeyman popped out of the box and scared them away! That's pretty fortunate, but seriously Charlie? That's the present you had for the Divas?
Next we have "the Animal" Batista facing "the Horse" Randy Orton. Since both of these guys were from Evolution, I guess you could call this survival of the fittest. And who would prevail in this battle of Darwinists?
I guess not all good things come in large packages. It was time for eight Diva action after that. Since Adam had a pretty light load (ha ha ha) on this pay-per-view, I'm going to hand this match over to him. Well, seven of them at least...
Oh, yes you are. Yes. You. Are. Finally, it was time to see who would prevail and leave with the WWE World Championship: a man of the people, or a man of the lions. Mr. Cena and Chris Jericho, one on one to settle it all. Let's go to the pilfered footage...
Well, that's it! Expect a full report of the Slammys later this week, in case you missed them. And watch all the post-apocalyptic action tonight on the home of television, USA!, 9/8c!
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