W.W.W. featuring Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake and Batman vs Super King

SEASONS BEATINGS!

On Wednesdays, we here at LOL, Wresslin' like to really pull out the stops and offer up a double shot of righteously killer content. Why Wednesday? Well, we could impress you with market research, work habit studies, and human psychology tendencies to show you there's a scientific reason the middle of the week is the best time to bring your A-game. However, truth be told, we don't have any of that stuff and settled on Wednesday because that was the only day that didn't have any content scheduled.

So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays." Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.

Better at naming stuff than us.

The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your static image set to Randy Orton's theme music theory on the Chris Benoit double murder/suicide ain't gonna fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.

After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.


Adam's video to Matt: Batman meets Superking



Matt's response...

I honestly don't know what to say.

Did you watch that? I know it's probably easy to skip the video and proceed directly to our witty commentary, but please, I implore you, watch this. It's two and a half minutes long and you won't find a better way to spend that time for the rest of the day.

I'll wait. Perfect time for me to step out and get something to snack on...


Finished? Are you as speechless as I am?

You know (tm), this video sounds like the set-up to an awful joke: So Batman walks into a TV station in Memphis, and Jerry Lawler happens to be there in a Superman costume...

But it's real. The YouTube user who posted this video postulates that Adam West (the man in the cowl) is drunk. I'd like to believe that just behind that curtain is an empty liter of Jim Beam, because it certainly seems like he might be. However, having had the pleasure to meet Mr. West in person, as did Laugh Twin Adam, I can say that he acts just as odd when he's probably sober. Unless he kicked back a few before we met him; that's entirely possible.

So let's examine this within the confines of this video's reality: Batman has made the trek from Gotham City to Memphis, probably not an easy trip, because Mr. Freeze and the Penguin were said to be causing some possible weather troubles here on the banks of the great Mississippi. Ever the crime fighter, Batman decided to stop in and deal with another troublemaker, the King of Memphis.

Now, if there's anything more American then heading out to kick some king's ass, I've never heard of it. That's pretty much what our country was founded on.

As he's discussing this with Short-Tie Comb-over Guy, in walks Lawler, but not as you'd expect him to look. No! He's trying to be a card and has dressed up as Superking, which basically involves him getting a Superman outfit and substituting the "S" for a crown. A lot of thought went into that disguise, let me tell you.

Batman is not going to stand for that, and neither is his friend Supe. Or Soup, possibly. Sure you know him as Superman, but when you're buds, you can drop the formalities.

You know who else isn't going to like that? Spider-man, aka Spidey baby.

What??

First, how do you know Spider-man, and why exactly would he give a crap about some goofball in Memphis wearing a Superman outfit? Are they even friends?

"How dare you, sir!"

I stand corrected.

Now Batman claims that Lawler's outfit was stolen from Superman, but that doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Again, it has a crown on it and not the typical "S" logo, so unless Jerry Lawler stumbled across some plan of Supe's to appoint himself King of the World and impose his will however he saw fit, I really don't think it came out of his closet. And if he did stumble onto said plan, I think we should be thanking Mr. Lawler for thwarting such a devious plot, rather than reviling him for not using his turn signals.

How many times have you used the turn signals in the Batmobile, my friend?

And who exactly did Superking have in his box that would make "the Joker look like Mickey Mouse"? Well, as is vaguely referred to at the end and one commenter confirms, it was Frankenstein.

Yes, you read that correctly.

Now, I'm not sure if that's Dr. Frankenstein, as Lawler seems to say, or Frankenstein's monster, but I'm going to guess it's the monster. Can you imagine what that car show was like?

This?

This is what happens when you catch Adam West in a jogging suit, kicking back with a bottle of SoCo, and tell him to throw on the cowl and gloves and sell his appearance at the Cook Convention Center.

You get pure magic.



Matt's video to Adam: An interview with Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake



Adam's response...


There are days you realize that we are in fact, part of the multi-verse. Sure, we can't all travel to Earth-53 (not without the Flash's cosmic treadmill, at least), but we aren't special like the warriors of the squared circle.

Above: The Speed Force

Still, that doesn't mean these exceptional human beings can't jump over to Earth-Prime whenever they wish. Case in point, a simple day with Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake at his home in Winchester, MA.

First off, I'm not alone on this. Tcb76 (takin' care of business, n00b) knows what s/he likes. "Very cool" is the word on the street in regards to this intimate sit down with the alliterative wrestler. And why wouldn't that be the buzz? It is very cool. Brutus keeps everything in character by keeping his shears on the sofa for the entire interview.

Wait, seriously? That's not cool. That's not cool at all.





Anyway, the interviewer sounds like he just got out of puberty. He's enjoying a delightful spot of tea in Beefcake's cozy New England cottage when the topic of life comes up. Why exactly does he live in Winchester, MA? Well for starters, Mrs. Beefcake is from there and is also a cop, so Brutus gets to be above the law. But most importantly (and I stress most), Brutus's hair stylist lives in Winchester. He'd go there when he was single and working for the WWF. They'd film all the vignettes at this salon. So it's nice to know the man is dedicated to his gimmick.

Our 14 year old behind the camera then begins to ask him about "The Hulk." Apparently him and Brutus grew up together, played Little League together, and...well that's about it. The moral of the story is that the Hulk is big.

Brutus's childhood teammate

To wrap things up Brutus begins to plug Celebrity Championship Wrestling. Yup, he's plugging a TV show on a Youtube video that has gotten less then 800 views. Pfft, loser. Maybe we should contact him and ask him to promote the finished series on a blog that gets less then 10 unique visitors. Still, he did an alright job getting the message across. He put over Dustin Diamond, Todd Bridges, Dennis Rodman, and Butterbean specifically. Hmm..wonder why...wait! Those were the final four! He gave away the second to last episode! My oh my, how coy! The Barber = Oscar Wilde??

Above: Gay dude.