On Wednesdays, we here at LOL, Wresslin' like to really pull out the stops and offer up a double shot of righteously killer content. Why Wednesday? Well, we could impress you with market research, work habit studies, and human psychology tendencies to show you there's a scientific reason the middle of the week is the best time to bring your A-game. However, truth be told, we don't have any of that stuff and settled on Wednesday because that was the only day that didn't have any content scheduled.
So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays." Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.
Better at naming stuff than us.The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your Top 10 List of Billy Gunn gimmicks ain't gonna fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.
After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.
Matt's video to Adam- Hacksaw Jim Duggan on Having a Beer with Mike
Adam's response....
I hate to spoil Matt's Raw recap next week, but something happened on Raw on Monday (I watch it because it reminds me how much I hate Raw and LOVE Smackdown) that pretty much sums up this entire video. Chris Jericho, coming off his title match loss to John Cena, is put into a match with Hacksaw Jim Duggan. However, Jericho refuses to wrestle Hacksaw because, well, it's beneath him. He just leaves, not even acknowledging the broken old man in the ring. But it didn't start then. Look at this. That's his gimmick now. A depressed old man. He's too insignificant to even beat down. People just walk over him and he takes it. It's all very sad.
Which leads me into making fun of this retard who carries around a 2x4 and screams "Ho!" Why not? He's an easy enough target. At least according to some TV show called Having a Beer with Mike. They decided to take Jimmy out for a beer and did something to offend him. I have no idea what it is. Hacksaw just starts screaming in a limo about something. It starts off like it's a jokey promo, but then just gets more and more legit.
Let's look at the man he's angry at. The supposed perp, if you will. He's your standard Orlando white trash (Heel heat on Orlando). Terrible tattoos, doesn't wear a shirt, goatee, black afro wig. He clearly works at Sea World. And clearly he did something to get Hacksaw's bee in his bonnet, and it's all magnified on national TV too, according to the angry man from Lake Placid, NY. Let's not blow this up to be any bigger then it is, K Duggan? He even starts being an old man and recounting his tenure and his twenty-two years of career. Like somehow chanting "USA!" and taking chair shots for my entire life time (I would have been 22 when this video was posted) somehow earns you some respect. WRONG.
Oh, now I got the problem. Hacksaw and HaBwM are old friends, which is why Hacksaw is so upset. The problem is that HaBwM always wants to "push the envelope" (not to be a hacky comedian, but what exactly does that expression refer to?) and how he always wants to "cross that line", just like that wascally Howard Stern ("hoo-hoo! Tell em, Fred!).
Clearly, whatever was done to Hacksaw "crossed the line" in Orlando. He then puts an exclamation on the problem by asking the WT what the five fingers said to the chest.
My therapist would say I have anger issues.Oh well, that was short and sweet. What's that? This thing is still going on? Well let's see what we got. The narrator says that "Terror Strikes" during the Hacksaw blow up? Well duh, we just saw that? But there's more? It's an ad for the HaBwM DVD (volume 3!) Well let's see what hilarity will ensue:
A 40 year old bed wetter who has been hypnotized and let loose? Uh oh! "That's embarrassing." Well thank you narrator, for telling me what I should be thinking. OOO...Three Stooges clips which are probably in no way on the DVD. LOL!
What else we got on this baby? Rare scenes? Well I'd hope so, considering how probably only four people have seen this when it actually aired. Mike's impersonations? I'm only interested if he impersonates Chris Benoit. Kisses? More like pecks on the cheek. And spoofs? Nuff said.
One quick thing to note. The graphics are on screen for too long. They bleed into the next frame and don't sync well.
Not pictured: Dignity.
This DVD is too wild for snooty women, wimps, and geeks. Well I guess that disqualified the Laugh Twins from purchasing this bad boy. I mean, wait! How dare this DVD question my manhood! I'll show you by buying it! The commercial continues by saying it's perfect for bums and 30 years olds who still live at home. Two things make this statement incorrect.
1) Bums don't have homes, let alone DVD players.
2) Anyone who is not a bum usually lives at home. Why market only to the 30's? Way to limit your audience, shit dick.
Oh, so to get this DVD I have to grab my daddy's wallet. Why's that, because I (and by extension your fans) don't have a job and/or credit? Well I guess that's a safe assumption, being from Orlando and all. LOL, you zinged me HaBwM DVD commercial! Oh, and thank Heavens you're going to label the package "GED study guide." That is far less embarrassing then letting the mail man know I bought this DVD. No joke.
Still, what got Hacksaw so mad??? Better go get Daddy's wallet....
Adam's video to Matt: Shawn Michael vs. The Texas Tornado
Matt's response...
Alright now. This is what I'm talking about. A little Texas Two-step, so I'm going to pop open a Shiner Bock beer, unwrap a breakfast burrito and go to town on this puppy.
There are a lot of things to love about this: Sensational Sherry on the outside, Gorilla Monsoon and Alfred Hayes at the announce table, Kerry von Erich doing his stuff in the ring, and even the ref keeping it all above board. Yep, sure love all those things. And they're all dead too.
That's right, the vast majority of who you see in this video are dead now. Think about that.
I'd even venture to guess at least half the audience is dead too. Especially that chick that got a kiss from Kerry at the beginning. Her husband killed her before they even got home that night.
Above: domestic violence That Shawn Michaels! So vain! He even brings a mirror to the ring to check himself out! Alfred Hayes postulates that he might also be using it to keep an eye on Tor-nah-do (what a British cigarette) but since he's facing the complete wrong way to do that, I'm going to go ahead and say "no" to that theory. Nice try though.
He should talk about how is dangerous to bring a large piece of glass to the ring, where people are constantly be tossed out to the floor. But Shawn helpfully demonstrates the dangers of that when he gets tossed through it at the end. Remember kids, don't be this f**king dumb at home.
I really like this match. Nice back and forth. Good heel tactics from Shawn. And Kerry's foot doesn't come off once! Yeah, that's right. If you're not aware (but I'm sure you are), The Texas Tornado had a fake foot. He still managed to be reigning IC Champion. There's something to be said for tight boots.
Texas Tornado v. 1.0 One of the great things about fighting outside the ring is that fans have a wonderful chance to get on their mic as a little bit of bonus commentary. This time is no different. The second time Shawn is tossed out and examining his lovingly coiffed mane, one guy in the front has to come along and burst his bubble:
You're ugly!
OH. MY. GOD. Somebody called the local volunteer fire department, because Michaels just got BURNED.
Above: wrestling fanAnd I just have to say this has about the weakest ending I've ever seen on a potentially great match. I'm not even sure if the ref (now dead) knows what happened until the ring announcer told him. Honestly Kerry, I demand more from my one-footed IC Champs.
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