Showing posts with label Alicia Fox. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alicia Fox. Show all posts

Monday, November 16, 2009

OH BABY, I like it Raw! Don't worry...I'm UK

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

For a theme song to accompany this post, please press play and enjoy...



So Raw emanated from Sheffield, England last week, and our guest host was this boxer named Ricky Hatton, who's about the only athlete from the United Kingdom who's worth a damn. Believe me, that's not saying much.

Now, before you start to wonder, "What does Hatton have to do with the WWE?", I'll tell you. You see, one of Hatton's recent losses (I know, right? Which one?) came to some Filipino dude named Manny. On that night, Manny was escorted to the ring by a certain lonely gentleman the WWE Universe likes to call THE ANIMAL!!!!


So Hatton has some face to save, albeit somewhat tangentially. As is custom, the Unified Tag Champs want to come out and start some stuff with the guest host.

Even the WWE.com interns know it.

But ol' Ricky's not having any of that. He makes a match between Jeri-Tall and DX!! Already this week is turning out to be the same as last week!

We all know how original the English are. Just look at their signs!

For his second act of the night, Hatton steps things up and makes Alicia Fox go one-on-one with K-squared, meaning only one thing to me. PHOTO TIME!

That's what's been missing...

Of course, as you would expect when these two lock-up, things get pretty hot and heavy in the ring.


Alicia won.

Sheamus beat "a local competitor." When do they hold these try-outs to face a real WWE wrestler? I never see them posted anywhere when Raw comes to town. Maybe I'll try Craigs List...

Found it! They post some odd pictures though...

Evan Bourne finally beat someone. Of course, it was Jack Swagger, so we might want to save the bragging for another week.


Tension continued between the Legacy and Kofi's Kool Kompetitors, as they had words for each other during the VIP Lounge. And I'm glad Randy and his guard models came out too. It's not fair for Kofi, Mark Henry and MVP to come out on MVP's interview program and spout only their own views for a segment. There is such a thing called "equal time," and these three shouldn't be allowed hijack the airwaves simply because they have a friendly outlet. Good for Randy standing up for the voiceless!


Naturally, this meant someone had to fight someone, and those someone's were Randy Orton and Mark Henry. Randy would finally settle the pressing issue of who has the larger hog, and got the win over the World's Strongest Man. Seems like strength can't stand up to a viper bite!

After the match, Kofi and Randy got into a scuffle, and Orton had to retreat. He wasn't happy about it, though.

Also, this is your not-quite-weekly Cody Rhodes photoshop contest.

Chavo Guerrero decided that since there was a boxer on the show, they should try to answer that question that's been answered several times before, "Who would win between a boxer and a professional wrestler?" Allow me to provide you a little something from the WWE.com recap of this fight...

...Hatton bided his time, avoiding Chavo's clutch and waiting for just the right moment. That moment arrived several minutes into the bout...

That's right. This lasted more than a minute. Hatton won.

Finally, it's that historic match-up of Jeri-Tall and DX. Will strength and athleticism defeat pyros and crotch jokes?

Big Show is not impressed.

Show, of course, would be big and dumb again and accidentally punch Jericho, giving DX the ability to pin. I guess that pretty much wraps up the ni-

Thanks for the sexually suggestive pose, WWE camera guy.

Wait! That's the Undertaker!!! But he's on Smackdown!!! Apparently 'Taker is here early to let us know that next week's (this week's!) guest host, Rowdy Roddy Piper, got busy early and put him in a match for next week (this week)! A Triple Threat Tag Team match with DX, Jeri-Tall and...Cena and the Undertaker? Well, let's just see how this turns out! USA at 9/8c!

Friday, June 19, 2009

R U READY TO DOWN SOME SMACK??? Road to Raw

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

Yes, that's right. Smackdown was kind of about the three hour Raw from last Monday. I'm going to get to that because it's sort of relevant to tonight. Kind of like when we cover PPV's! Oh, and there's another one coming up like, next week or something! Jesus, there are way too many of those.


Anyway, a few notes from last week's Smackdown. We all know Michelle McCool is hot. That's a fact. Still, recently she's had a valet to the ring. I don't know why, but I'm digging it. Her valet is named Alicia Fox, and she wore an awesome shirt.

It'd look better on my floor

They won, or something.

There was also a pretty solid tag match. The World's Great Tag Team took on John Morrison and R-Truth!


The head Smackdown booker is Michael Hayes, a former wrestler who made his name in the 1970's Texas territory. He's also a well known racist. Seriously. So of course, this match was total black on black crime!

Dr. King must be rolling over in his grave

Once again, WWE.com interns caption brilliantly

But then, who get's the pin? The face WHITE man! Shenanigans! I call shenanigans!


Ok, so that should cover Smackdown. But what about the Smackdown bouts from Raw? Sure, Donald Trump may have gotten all the attention, but Smackdown clearly stole the show! First match of the night was another Rey/Jericho IC title classic!

Watching their matches feels like this (in a totally not gay way)

So once again, Jericho is going for Rey's mask. Hey, I can understand why he'd want to do that. And I can understand why Rey would want to keep it.


But you'd figure, if the mask is so important maybe he'd, I dunno, tie it i the back. Not just have Velcro chin strap. That makes it very easy to take off. There's a reason Batman doesn't have a chin strap for his cowl. It doesn't help. So at least put on some spirit gum.




And hey, check it out! Another World title match! CM Punk is here to prove he ain't a fluke, as he defends his newly won title in a three way match! Against the last two World champs! And they just gave it away for free on Raw! All to show off how much better Smackdown is! Awesome!

The joke is in the file name

Anyway, this match ruled. Everyone looked strong and really really really wanted to be the champ. Punk looked like a totally credible champion all night (dissing Matt Hardy before the match), but then banged his knee against the steel steps, essentially shattering any ability to walk again! At the very least he's out of the match. So naturally, Jeff Hardy and Edge start brawling one on one! We're going to have a new champion!

Wow! Another Swanton photo! Whoever is the WWE's main photographer could release a book just called "Swanton"

OMG!!! It's going to be Jeff Hardy! Wait! CM Punk just pulled Jeff out and rammed him into the same steel steps!


This pin makes me feel funny. I'm not sure if I like this CM Punk anymore...

He stole that pin! Jeff was going to be the champion again! Argh! I don't like where CM Punk's attitude is going...

Come hate CM Punk all over again tonight on Smackdown! 8/7 c (or whenever on hulu), MyNetwork TV (or hulu).