BREAKING NEWS: WWE RELEASES PREMIER TAG TEAM HARDCORE HOLLY

Even Earth-53 can't handle this down economy, as World Wrestling Entertainment (formerly known as Titan Sports) has been forced to cut costs and release some of the talent. So, no more shall we see the tag-team of Paul London and Billy Kidman Hardcore Holly grace our TV sets each week.

Now, this is a tragedy. We're making a note here, huge failure. It's hard to overstate our disappointment.



Seriously though, these guys have been a high-flying tag duo since January, 2004 this guy has been employed with the WWE since 1994 . It's depressing to think that these this stars cannot shine anymore on USA and MyNetwork TV again! Dammit! We thought everything was supposed to change for the good when Obama got elected last week sworn into office today! But now...no more London and Kidman Hardcore Holly! He had such potential. All they he needed was a killer gimmick to get over. Here's one we came up with years ago during a late night giggle fest:

The lights at the United Center in Chicago, IL drop as the crowd erupts. Who could be coming to the ring? Is it the Undertaker? Edge? Suddenly, two hooded figures appear in the center of the ring, illuminated by only two spotlights. The shrouded figure on the left puts the microphone to his mouth and removes his hood:

BK: I'm Billy S. Kidman, esq.

PL: And I'm Paul Theodore London! And together we are....

BK and PL: WYLD STALLIONS!

(brino weeno wownnnnnnnn!)

Hardcore Holly comes out to the ring and beats up Goldust for acting "queer."

Who wouldn't love the idea of two time traveling valley boys using only their wits and talents to save rock and roll and win tag team gold some tough guy with bleach blond hair beating up another man who makes him question his own sexuality? Apparently only Vince McMahon, Stephanie McMahon, Pat Patterson, Michael PS Hayes, Kevin Dunn, Ranjan Chibber, and everyone else on the writing staff who rejected our idea and filed multiple restraining orders on us (Call, please?). Still, they'd have been a wonderful comedy duo with loads of talent, easily the high point of any wrestling show. Alas, it is not to be.

Wait, the tag team broke up in the fall of 2004, and Kidman was released from his contract in July of 2005 that's insensitive to homosexual viewers and wouldn't garner any heat, good or bad? Really? We had no idea. We never saw any of them on TV and forgot they existed.

From Parts Unknown....

This may be old news, but it's an exciting time around the LOL, Wresslin' offices. That's because The Ultimate Warrior's ex-wife is shopping around a tell-all book about being married to a man who tied bicycle streamers to his arms! We normally are above such sensationalism, but something about this has us all jiggered.

Perhaps it's because the man formally known as Jim Hellwig is bat-shit crazy.

Now, we know you knew that. The man wears bicycle streamers on his arms. But there's so much more insanity which fuels our love for this bicycle streamer armed man. First off, his name actually is Warrior. We're going to repeat that. He legally changed his name to Warrior. He's also a hardcore, right winger, frequently speaking at fine institutions and bicycle streamer conventions everywhere.

And then of course, there's always this doozy.

The book seems to only recount the days that Mr. Warrior and Ms. Tyree were married, so it would appear that the above goodness will probably be omitted from the final copy. Which on first glance would appear to be a shame. But we know where the story goes. He's bat shit crazy. Let's see how he got there.

Our bet? Bicycle streamers on the arms cut off circulation to his brain.