OH BABY, I like it RAW! vol. 9

SEASONS BEATINGS!

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

For a theme song to accompany this post, please press play and enjoy...



Lest you think that Chris Jericho is going to let one little vicious beating break his spirits, he's here to let you know that Mr. Cena isn't out of the woods yet. In a take-off of Mr. Cena's entrance through the crowd a couple weeks ago, last week Jericho made his entrance through the crowd as well -- surrounded by security so no one would touch him.

I'm the only one who sees that?

I get your point here: you're pissed at the crowd for booing you when you act like a heel, and you want to rub their faces in your success. I understand. But if you're really that disgusted with wrestling fans, why get in the middle of them at all? Your "crack" security team did nothing to keep them from touching you, so what did you prove? I think deep down inside, you really DO want us to love you, and this is just a cry for care and understanding.

"I wrote it all down, in case I started to cry."

Jericho also revealed that he's upset his son has become a fan of Mr. Cena's. He says he needs to "convert him." Now, I don't want to go dredging up the past here, but I'm sure we remember what happened last time someone wanted to convert their son from being a John Cena fan, and we don't need that again.

At least I think that's why. It's a mystery, I suppose.

Hillbilly Jim -er, Mike Knox shoved Rey Mysterio down as he was walking down the ramp. Mysterio fell off and hurt his arm. Seriously, Rey? He's waiting for you at the bottom of the ramp. You didn't see that coming?

Randy Orton seems to be buddying up to Cody Rhodes. He thinks they have great potential. Orton told Rhodes he'd be waiting for him in his locker room. Really? Oh, Cody...to see the places you've seen...

"Oh, I told you ten minutes? Sillly me...must have lost track of the time in there. Need a towel?"

JBL wanted to clear up his little offer from the week before. He's offering Shawn a job, because JBL is Mr. Finance and was able to keep his money while everyone else, including HBK, lost all of their savings.

Get it?! Because he doesn't have any more money?? So he's broke! Oh, screw you.

JBL even offered to let Shawn kick him in the face if he wanted to, but then his job offer would be off the table. If only all business got done like this...

"Well, that's my last offer...unless you'd rather kick my teeth in."

Well, Shawn didn't kick him. And he didn't take the offer. He just walked away crying. Way to be strong, HBK.

Batista beat up Dolph Ziggler. I know what you asking - Who?


Rey came back out to beat the Miz to advance in the IC contender's tourney. He proved once again what a little heart can do for you, even if you're smaller and tending to an injured arm. What a feel good story that little guy is.


Finally, we have an awfully difficult challenge for Mr. Cena - he's to defeat the monster KANE!! This could get tricky, because Kane is a hard opponent, large and crazy. This could spell disaster for Mr. Cena and his recent comeback from injury and reign as champion.


Cena won in five minutes.

But then that dastardly Jericho came out and beat Mr. Cena to a pulp! It's ok, Chris. I love you. You can let go of that hate now.

Don't miss the return of the Slammy Awards tonight! A special three-hour Raw event! 8/7c on USA! And we all know what a Slammy award can do for your career!

He won twice!

RIP Eddie Guerrero 1967-2005

Today marks the third anniversary of the tragic passing of Eddie Guerrero. We know that we sometimes make light of certain things, but Eddie deserved better. Sure, he had his faults. We all do. But what made him so special is that he came back from them and got his life on track. Allow us for a moment to pay tribute to the man who brought us so much joy through our love of professional wrestling.

Eddie was born in 1967 into the legendary Guerrero wrestling family. He made his name there before going to Japan, and finding equal success. This is no small feat, as Japan is probably more wrestling rabid then we are, and they actually tend to respect work rate over showmanship. He then continued on to the United States, holding numerous ECW titles. It was at ECW that he met his close friends, Dean Malenko and Chris Benoit. They would never make another career decision without each other. Namely, all three moved onto WCW in 1995. Guerrero achieved surprising success while in Atlanta. Keep in mind, this was the period of the nWo's adolescence. Hogan, Nash, and Hall were dominating TV, so a Mexican immigrant getting over as well as he did in the deep south is rather remarkable. Guerrero was one of the final 10 in a 60 man battle royal for the WCW World Title, a testament to how the crowd could get behind him. He also won numerous WCW United States and Cruiserweight titles. He was beginning to get a serious push in 1999 by heading up his own stable, the Latino World Order, when a car crash derailed his career.

Shortly after his return from the accident, Guerrero, Benoit, and Malenko all signed with the WWF. Guerrero would achieve even greater success there. He won the European and Intercontinental championships soon after his arrival. However, the car crash would have a larger effect on him then anyone would let on. He developed a pain killer addiction. WWF sent him to rehab in May of 2001, and Eddie came back clean. Yet, in November 2001 he was arrested for drunk driving. The WWF released him days later. He separated from his wife due to this. Humbled, Eddie embarked on the road to redemption of getting clean and working the indys.

And he did just that. Eventually making his way back to the Fed (now WWE), Eddie immediately entered into a feud with Rob Van Dam for the Intercontinental title. After that concluded he started a tag team with his nephew, Chavo, and won numerous tag championship with him, all the while delighting the crowd with their "We lie, we cheat, we steal!, but at least we're honest about it" motto. He also became the first WWE United States champion, wrestling close friend Chris Benoit in the finals of the tournament. He also got his life back on track, getting clean and getting his family back. All through the power of finding Christ and being diligent in his intakes. This was only the beginning of his greatest successes though.

The 2004 Royal Rumble was won by Chris Benoit. As we all know, the winner of the Rumble gets a title shot at Wrestlemania, the biggest show of the year. Benoit, who was a member of the Smackdown brand at the time, defected to Raw to wrestle HHH for his World Title. Smackdown needed to have a title match at Mania, and a 15 man mini-Rumble was ordered for the Januaray 29th, 2004 Smackdown (a show we both attended). Eddie won, and thus was granted a title shot against Brock Lesnar at the No Way Out pay-per-view in Feburary. Eddie won the match and his first world title. The victory made him only the second-ever Latino WWE Champion in history and the first Mexican American to win the main world title in an American promotion. He would successfully defend the title against Kurt Angle at Wrestlemania XX. After close friend Christ Benoit won the World Title in the main event, Guerrero joined his friend in the center of the ring. Both men embraced, teary eyed champions, making one of the most memorable Wrestlemania moments there could be.

For the next year of his life Eddie was part of normal wrestling storylines, winning and losing titles, feuding with other wrestlers, and pretty much doing what he does best. He had it all. He was clean for 4 years, had his family back, and was at the top of his chosen profession. Which is what made his sudden death all so tragic.

On November 13th, 2005 Eddie Guerrero was found dead on his hotel bathroom floor. Acute heart failure was labeled as the official cause of death. Although he was clean for over four years, the damage done during that time certainly didn't help matters. Here was a man who got his life together, and was still taken from us so soon. A wife lost a husband. Daughters lost a father. Brothers and sisters lost a brother. No point in going on. Friends and family lost a loved one. And that's never easy. So today, we say a few words, and think back on the man. We think of our own families, especially with the holidays so close. It's important to remember these things.

Viva la raza!!!