You know it

It's no secret that LOL, Wresslin' is the best wrestling comedy blog this side of the solar system. However, that is not to say we're perfect. We are not. We know that is a big news flash, but the only quality that is equal to our wit is perhaps our humility (it is often known as our "best" attribute). So we're going to just out and say it; we were wrong about Zack Ryder.

Here's what we wrote about Mr. Ryder just long of two months ago:

Zack Ryder- Woo woo we we. Yes, a Long Island guido. The perfect gimmick. We wish you best in all your future endeavors, Zack.

Well, turns out the man has turned crap into diamonds. His Long Island guido character is actually fairly amusing. Become a witness:



Now as for his trademark catchphrase, "Woo woo we woo woo!"; stupid, for sure. Yet, it fits everything about him. The bandanna (which we're sure he's called a "bandizzi" on multiple occasions), the one legged tights, flamboyant colors; they're all things we hate. But isn't that the mark of a good heel? Or what about that ring entrance music?

Isn't that just nauseating? Seriously, it sounds nothing like what a young male would want to listen to. And the narrative structure is just silly and weird, making the story behind it (Ladies man coming through!) completely unbelievable. Hmm...seems as if that reminds us of someone else...


But you know (tm) what makes Zack Ryder complete? It's how he lives his gimmick. Check out some of these sweet tweets the man has left.

At the gym...Training my left leg...no need to train the right 5:11 PM Aug 6th from Tweetie

Tanning...you're welcome for the visual 6:34 PM Aug 6th from Tweetie

Just won the award for Hottest Guy at the Beach! Z009 baby!!! 11:47 AM Aug 8th from Tweetie

@TrueKofi KFC Bowls 4 life3:46 PM Aug 8th from Tweetie in reply to TrueKofi

Heading to the gym then to the tanning salon...I can't wait to take pics of myself in the mirror after I get out of the tanning bed. WOO X 3 10:52 AM Aug 10th from web

We're partial to "Woo X 3" ourselves.

Some may look at all this and say "Rob Conway 2009." Well those men are fools. When we add this all together we summat a treasure! We have found our third recipient of the Seal of Awesomeness! This is clearly no small feat, as we haven't had anyone be awesome in almost nine months!


Side note: Before you fanboys start screaming "continuity error!" just know that we have factored in our previous SoA rules. We are aware that each brand can only have one SoA recipient (so as not to tip the scales too heavily) and Shane Helms is currently on ECW. However, we bestowed Hurricane Helms and his "I'm just sayin!" gimmick in. Now he is on ECW as just the superhero Hurricane. Should he return to his old ways we may confer with the union, but until then Zack Ryder is the current ECW SoA.

Something different

It's Tuesday and things are a little slow. Sure, Umaga was released, boosting the hopes of anyone wishing for a Kennedy/Umaga (or whatever there names will be) TNA PPV headline. But really, other then making a fat joke or twelve, what could we say about it? Umaga clearly must have done something to piss off Vince, since he was kinda sorta in the middle of a push. But, who cares about all that. If it gets interesting we'll let you know.

No, let's continue our promise to look at other brands. Namely, the Tuesday show that no one cares about, ECW. Let's look at their roster and evaluate if this little show on SyFy is worthy of our attention. We mean, it's summer. What else are we going to do?

Christian: Adam's favorite wrestler has been the top face on ECW since he came back to WWE in February. He continues to be a solid worker, hilarious on the stick, and get over with the crowd despite the mountain of turd that's always thrust on him. Let's hope he continues to increase his overall profile on Tuesday's and eventually gets a shot on Monday/Friday for a top tier title.

DJ Gabriel: Who?

Evan Bourne: Aw schucks, gee whiz, high flyer. Amazing to see work, just needs that little thing to make us watch.

Ezekial Jackson: You know (tm) what you call this guy? Sir.

Finlay: It's pretty sad to say that he's lost without his midget.

Gregory Helms: Former Seal of Awesomness winner has thankfully stopped having long hair with stupid back tat and has just become a backstage interviewer where he's allowed to be hilarious. Here's hoping Vince goes (more) insane, fires Michael Cole, promotes Jim Ross back to Raw, promotes Matt Striker to Smackdown to be Todd Grisham's color man, and promotes Gregory Helms to color man on ECW. It could be worse, right?


Jack Swagger- Good in ring worker who talks like a gay dude. We're not sure if this is a positive for his career.

Paul and Katie Lea Birchill- Kafaybe brother and sister we're originally going to have a slow build towards and incest angle before Linda McMahon's education board election put the kibosh on that one. Of course, this would not be the worst angle ever.



Mark Henry and Tony Atlas- Best music in the business (seriously, how did we omit this? Must be racism.) Also, Tony Atlas wears a cut off shirt with a tie to the ring.

Seriously.

Matt Striker- Well he's become our favorite wrestler lately..and he's not even a wrestler!

Tiffany- Currently dates the dude who played Carlton on Fresh Prince. She's alright, we guess.

Yea..you can call us. If it's cool with Carlton.

Tommy Dreamer- Savvy veteran of ECW. Recently won their title, which goes against everything about his gimmick ever. Still, a nice gesture to celebrate his contract extension by WWE. Seriously, they gave him 3-5 years. Hopefully he'll innovate some more violence for us.

The Hart Dynasty- Surprisingly effective stable. David Hart Smith is the British Bulldog's son, and as long as he doesn't become addicted to drugs and OD we'd say he's better then his dad. Natayla is surprisingly attractive and her boyfriend Tyson Kidd is the last man trained in the Hart Dungeon. A face turn and feud with Legacy could be big money, we think.

Vladmir Kozlov- Recently started doing a Red Army gimmick. That's only slightly less topical then let's say...Disco Inferno.


Zack Ryder- Woo woo we we. Yes, a Long Island guido. The perfect gimmick. We wish you best in all your future endeavors, Zack.