W.W.W. featuring Voodoo Kin Mafia and Matt Cappotelli

On Wednesdays, we here at LOL, Wresslin' like to really pull out the stops and offer up a double shot of righteously killer content. Why Wednesday? Well, we could impress you with market research, work habit studies, and human psychology tendencies to show you there's a scientific reason the middle of the week is the best time to bring your A-game. However, truth be told, we don't have any of that stuff and settled on Wednesday because that was the only day that didn't have any content scheduled.

So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays." Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.

Better at naming stuff than us.

The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your poorly constructed debate over the merits of the new DX ain't gonna fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.

After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.

Adam's video to Matt - V.K.M. in Stamford



Matt's response...

So let me get this straight, Voodoo Kin Mafia - you want to rid the wrestling world of dumb skits by way of a dumb skit?


Did I get that right? And also weren't you two in WWE and particpated in several of these skits yourselves?

Ok, ok, I get it. You've turned a new leaf and that's cool. I can respect that.

This, I can't.

Anyway, when it comes to wrestling, I'm pretty much a frontrunner. I only watch WWE, and even within that, I only watch Raw (I don't want to hear how Smackdown is doing some creative stuff these days, either. I have better things to do on Friday night.)


So my finger isn't neccessarily on the pulse of the wrestling world, and I don't really know much about what VKM does over at TNA, because I don't know what anyone does over at TNA (other than one of them ladies is gonna be in Playboy soon.) It's at these times I think we should consult the wrestling fans, i.e. the people who've commented on this YouTube video.

kentJones chimed in two years ago with "LMFAO," which means "laughing my flippin' arse off" in internet language. Seems like a good start. These guys might have something. I didn't LMFAO, but I chuckled. Close enough.

XScarredHeart picks up on the futility displayed in the video when he/she says "He's shouting at a machine. XD" That's so true, XSH. He is shouting at a machine, which is a silly, silly thing to do. And yet, I'm sure I've done it at some point too, making me feel ridiculous seeing my life mirrored in these two. And that little emoticon displaying bewildered exuberance? So true, too.

DisturbedEwok thinks: "I love these skits. Billy and Road Dogg piss all over DX"

Hmm, that's interesting you bring up DX, because I was just thinking about them. I wonder what made me do that. Was it the GPS thing? Nah...I don't remember them doing a skit with that. A Chevy Impala? Not really. Too gangsta for DX. Was it the suggestion they use a tank to invade the other company? I don't think it's that either.

Oh wait, it was.

Originality is TNA's strong suit, after all!


Matt's video to Adam- Matt Cappotelli talks about Bob Holly, Tough Enough, WWE, and more...

Here’s what I don’t get. There’s no way this video is current. Now granted, we don’t run current videos here, but this was uploaded back on Feb 22, 2009. Just a few months ago. Why? This isn’t worth remembering. Sure, it’s promoting something, but something that would have happened years ago. How do I know this? For a few reasons:

1) Matt Cappotelli is labeled as a WWE wrestler and Tough Enough winner. One’s true and one’s technically true. But Tough Enough hasn’t been around for about three years now. Plus, Cappotelli won this in 2003. So why is it still a relevant accomplishment? I bet most wrestling fans don’t even remember it.

2) Let’s go ahead and assume this is current. That this was filmed a few days before the posting date. Well then it’s a lie, because MATT CAPPOTELLI wasn’t a WWE wrestler at the time. He was released from his developmental contract on January 4^th, 2009.

3) Need more proof that this isn’t current? In 2007 he had a brain tumor, pretty much derailing his wrestling career. Now sure, it was successfully removed, and ostensibly, he could have resumed his career two years later, but it’s not the point!

Side note: Cappotelli was a bit of anti-Jeff Farmer because Hardcore Holly worked him a little stiff. So you know what I say about his brain tumor? This.

So yes, the description does state “fresh off his Tough Enough III” win, meaning this video is a bit older, but then I reiterate my point; Why was this posted recently?. It’s about an indy show in Rochester. Nothing remotely memorable.

Also, they interview the man about an interview he did on a radio show he’s a regular on.

About said interview: I know it’s radio, but why are you wearing gloves? Indoors in Rochester can’t be that cold. Still, it’s not all bad. There’s a delightful little minx in the background who is Rochester pretty. Also, we get to hear some great anecdotes about Matt’s favorite trainer and…zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Oh, and Cappotelli is wearing a stupid Yahoo! logo shirt (further dating this thing). And has a really stupid hair cut. And speaks like a dullard. Honestly, if this was before 2007 I can totally see the tumor at work.

Out of the groove

A couple days ago, we brought you a list of what we considered the best wrestling themes in existence.  However, with every up, there's a down, and where wrestling themes are concerned, there are LOTS of downs.  In the effort to be balanced, we're bringing you today the Bottom 8 theme songs.

The rules for consideration are the same - it has to be a song written to be an entrance theme.  It also has to be a song, which means Diesel's theme is out, because it pretty much is an entrance sound effect.  Right to Censor is out as well (looks like the Laugh Twins are the ones with the right to censor now!)

They also will be WWF/E themes, which narrows down the pool and makes it easier for us, but does preclude things like this gem.  We encourage you to listen to that, because your life will never be the same...it will be worse.

So, cue the pathetic drum roll, because here's your Bottom 8 theme songs of all time (as chosen by us!)

8. Chris Jericho - "Don't You Wish You Were Me?"

You may think this is breaking the first rule, because technically this was on the Fozzy album first, but since we made the list, this one is getting in.  It's Jericho's band, so we think we have a pass on this one.  The song itself is forgettable, but what really made this terrible is that he chose this over his truly great theme (which made #6 on our first list).  Also, anytime your theme song is altered to sell YJ Stinger, it's got serious stink on it.

7. X-Pac

"Quick, tell me something about X-Pac!"

"Uh, he was in D-X, right?"

Banking off his one recognizable plus, the original (and pretty kick-ass) Degeneration X theme was remixed for one Sean Waltman.  It was slowed down, a poor rap placed over the beat, and preceded with the command to "make some noise," which no one in the crowd heeded.  If there's one way to get someone to dislike you, it's to remind them of cool things you used to do.

6. Billy Gunn - "Ass Man"

Allow us to give you the first two lyrics of this song (aside from recognizing the fact that Billy Gunn is, in fact, an ass man)

I love to love 'em, I love to kick 'em, I love to shove 'em, I love to stick 'em

Love to flaunt 'em, I love to watch 'em, I love to pick 'em, and I'm gonna kick 'em

We should remind you that he's talking about ass here.  Just in case you missed it, he'll tell you twice that he's going to kick ass, but not before he also makes it clear he will stick and pick ass as well.  And later on he tells us the best is when you "sneak up from behind."  Billy and Chuck make a whole lot more sense now.

5. Gregory Helms

A problem some wrestlers have is a generic theme.  It's not necessarily bad; it just doesn't stand out in anyway from some other jobber on the roster.  Mr. Helms had that problem, because his theme wasn't all that bad, it was just "meh."  So to solve this (and ensure a huge pop), his theme was modified so you'd no for sure you were about to witness the genius of Gregory Helms.  How did they accomplish this?  By having him say "Gregory Helms!" at the beginning.  Good plan.

4. McMahon's Million Dollar Mania

Alright, so this wasn't actually a wrestler, but this concept was so ridiculous it had to make it in.  Right before he was crushed by the Raw set, Mr. McMahon spent a couple weeks giving away cash on the air.  Rather than simply come out to his own theme (which made it onto the other list as well at #5), McMahon thought he should start the segment out with a special theme for "da monaaay" itself.  Whichever Mozart came up with Gregory Helms's theme got some extra work that day, and some singer was paid to come and repeat the word "money" into a mic fifty times.

3. Any Diva theme

We're highlighting Torrie's theme here, but this applies to pretty much every Diva other than perhaps Lita.  The diva's theme serves one purpose - background noise while we oogle at her Titantron video or her prance down the ramp.  But they all share some common messages: this girl is hot; she likes to have fun; she might possibly want to do something nasty with you; and everyone likes to look at her.

2. The Mountie

This just sounds like a cartoon theme.  How this was ever supposed to create excitement for the Mountie is beyond us, because all this makes us want is some Fruity Pebbles.  In case you were curious, he's handsome, and brave, and strong.  Well, buddy, if your theme song has to inform us of that, it's probably nowhere near the truth.

1. Rob Conway

Immediately when we thought of this list, we knew what would occupy the number one spot.  Catapulting itself into the "so bad, it's good' territory, Conway's theme when he broke off from La Resistance is a classic case of missing the mark.  Rob Conway himself has said he hated it.  With it's ragtime-ish piano and absolutely ridiculous lyrics and vocals, Conway let the audience know that it was time to cast their gaze upon his wonderment, because he's been around the world and been with many, many girls.  The sad thing is, this theme is main reason both of the Laugh Twins are probably the biggest Con-fans you'll ever meet.