OH BABY, I like it Raw! Rough draft

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

For a theme song to accompany this post, please press play and enjoy...



Since last Monday was dedicated solely to the WWE Draft, and we've already covered it, there's not a lot new to discuss. However, I'll break down a few of the storylines that got advanced a bit last week.

We start the night with the newly returned Batista saying he wants to get his hands on Randy Orton before he, Trips and Shane O'Mac take on Legacy at Backlash. And he's the Animal, so who's going to argue with him?


That's right, it seems they all three want Randy Orton to themselves, and who can blame them?

I certainly can't. Yum!

You can guess how this one was reconciled: Vickie Guerrero put the three of them against the two other members of Legacy, Cody and Teddy, and whomever got the pin could face Orton before the PPV. Oh, you mean you couldn't guess that? Because it's a stupid match and gives us absolutely no reason to think that these two barely mid-carders can face off against a larger team of top babyfaces?

Well, you're smarter than Vickie.

In any case, that's coming up. MVP and the "nasty bastard" Big Show were both drafted to Raw. Can't wait to see how those two shake the foundations of Monday nights this evening. And there was an interpromotional Divas match. The Raw ladies lost, and Melina was sent packing to HackTown, but that doesn't preclude me from showing some pics, does it?

Double K seen here solving calculus.

John Cena beat Jack Swagger to earn two picks for Raw, and Matt Hardy and Triple H were the results of that.

Above: smirking

But Edge thought he'd take the opportunity in the post-match celebration to attack Mr. Cena. He did, but wasn't very successful and retreated backstage to lick his wounds.

And this.

The Miz is coming to Raw, but Jericho is leaving. I think all sports commissioners would deem that switch "unfair." Jericho ended up winning a match later in the night, but since he was already drafted to Smackdown, they got the Rey Mysterio out of the deal. Funny how that timing worked out.

Finally in the main event, Team Good Dudes couldn't get their act together and kept screwing each other out of pins and bickering in the ring like a bunch of spooled-up women. However, Trips, showing that he can outthink anyone, including a self-professed animal and a dude who's taken a few too many chair shots, wound up showing Ted DiBiase what pedigree really means. So tonight we'll be having a rematch of a Wrestlemania match that people really didn't give a damn about in the first place.

Not pictured: intelligent booking

Raw is back to same old tired two hours, so no need to cancel dinner plans tonight. Eat up, and be home by 9/8c to catch all the action on the only station for the WWE Draft, USA!!

Close the window - we feel a draft

Last Monday, it was time for that annual shake-up of the WWE universe, the Draft. When the WWE Draft was first instituted, it meant a big deal to each show. The brand extension was starting, and going to one show or the other had big implications on which titles you could challenge for and whom you'd be feuding with. Tag teams were split up. Bradshaw went to Raw, and Farooq to Smackdown, leading to JBL and "Damn!" respectively. The Dudleys were split, and on Smackdown, D-Von began his "Reverend" phase, which introduced us to a young animal named Deacon Batista.

And the Draft felt like a draft, too. Ric Flair and Vince McMahon were out there stealing picks from each other to better their own shows. There were surprises. Titles and whole factions were claimed for Monday or Thursday night. You really felt that the wrestling world was changing, if only a little bit.

Seven years later, the Draft still exists, but it resembles very little it predecessor. The brand extension is all but over. There's no "drafting" involved at all, actually, and should more appropriately be called "the Random." The shows are pitted together in matches, with the winner earning a pick for their brand, that pick being apparently determined by selecting "Random Superstar" from the Smackdown vs. Raw 2009 video game. And at the end of the night, surprise surprise, both shows have pretty much had the same amount of picks.

This year, Raw would have six, Smackdown five, and ECW one during the televised portion of the Draft. Let's start there:

Pick #1: U.S. Champ MVP to Raw - If there's one thing Raw needed was another blowhard.

Pick #2: Big Show to Raw - Oh, and another big man. That'll spice things right up on Monday nights.

Pick #3: Women's Champ Melina to Smackdown - It seems the shows have traded champion for champion in the early goings. Apparently Raw's women's division will be even more useless now.

Pick #4: Matt Hardy to Raw - So each show has a Hardy boy now.

Pick #5: Triple H to Raw - Wait, now there are two heavyweight champions on one show?? This hasn't happened since it happened on Smackdown last month!!

Pick #6: Money in the Bank winner C.M. Punk goes to Smackdown - Too bad he doesn't have anyone to challenge on his own show.

Pick #7: The Miz goes to Raw - Here's where things get stupid. Immediately after hearing that he'd been drafted, the Miz turns on his partner John Morrison. Why? Because they're not a team anymore, and things just work that way.

Pick #8: Kane goes to Smackdown - Here you go Smackdown, you have can have a big, terrible worker back.

Pick #9: Jericho goes to Smackdown - And a blowhard.

Pick #10: Vladimir Kozlov to ECW - Congratulations ECW! You're still awful!

Pick #11: Maryse goes to Raw - Nevermind! The Raw divas can now go after that sweet Diva's champ gold!

Pick #12: Rey Mysterio goes to Smackdown - And Smackdown gets themselves a mid-level champion again. With Mysterio being the top champ on Friday nights, here's really a great chance for him to get misused in all new ways!

Subsequent to the televised draft, there was a larger supplemental draft. This means, here are some people that you apparently should care less about than Maryse or the Miz. We'll hit some of the "highlights" of this draft:

Mr. Kennedy goes to Raw - Here you go Raw! Enjoy your new injured Superstar!

Primo and Carlito go to Raw - The new unified Tag Team Champs were drafted separately, really distressing for a while that one dude who was following the supplemental draft.

Mike Knox (OMG) goes to Smackdown - Smackdown was really lacking in their "wrestler-to-facial hair" ratio.

Candice Michelle goes to Smackdown - And an injured wrestler for all of you as well!

John Morrison goes to Smackdown - It's a shame we won't get to see that long-standing Miz/Morrison feud come to a head.

The Brian Kendrick goes to Raw - Hey Brian, wanna really get forgotten?

Charlie Haas goes to Smackdown - Haas goes from staying at his house on Monday nights to staying at his house on Friday nights.

Gregory Helms goes to ECW - You might be getting buried if...

Well, that's about all you need to know. Go through the list, find your favorite wrestler, and plan your TV viewing for the next year!