Showing posts with label JBL. Show all posts
Showing posts with label JBL. Show all posts

Friday, April 10, 2009

LOL, Wresslin' Live: Wrestlemania 25

Laugh Twin Matt here!

There's so much to be impressed by in this picture...

Typically Adam would be filling your head today with his Friday recap, but since the big news in SlackDown land came from Wrestlemania 25, and we've already covered that, I thought it would be nice to share a personal story with you. Seeing as how the big show (and the Big Show, funny enough) was in my homestate of Texas this year, it was easy for me to enjoy Wrestlemania live. So here is a little travel blog of sorts.

I attended Wrestlemania with my friend Mike and his fiancee (pretend there's a fancy accent mark there) Lisa. The trip started out simple, 8:00 AM on Sunday morning, and within an hour, I was getting a ticket from the awesome folks at the Dallas County sheriff's department. It seems Sammy Haggar was right - I can't drive 55...or 60, in this case.

"...for failure to stop looking so sexy!"

With that minor speed bump out of the way, we made it to Houston, where we lived life Ric Flair-style in the Hilton Post Oak hotel.

No parking on the sign, please.

Check in, while lengthy, was otherwise painless, though they couldn't find us two rooms near each other, much less on the same floor, MUCH less within eight floors. We were assigned rooms 311 and 1204. I mixed up the room keys (as best you can with only two) and allowed Mike to blindly pick one. He drew the third floor for the unlucky couple. Being the nice guy I am (ladies, take note), I traded with them. However, if a little money exchanged hands as well, that was ok too. So I headed to my temporary home for the rest of the weekend, Room 311, otherwise known as "Matt's Party HQ."

Big Matty Style

Where the magic (doesn't) happen.

Not ten minutes in the joint and already leaving towels about? Let the cleaning lady worry about it!

I took a moment to lounge and peer out my balcony window...

Hilton: the seventh flag over Texas

After a little lunch at the California Pizza Kitchen (in Houston, no less!) and a bit more lounging with a good book and some brandy (minus the "brandy" and "good"), I heard a rapping at my door, and not the type that made Mr. John Cena famous. Though, the champ was indeed here.


That is Mike. Yes, he has a championship belt. No, he didn't win it, but yes, you should be jealous. Mike, Lisa and I formed a game plan: exit the hotel and proceed to Wrestlemania. The show was getting started at 5:30 PM local time, and we're leaving two hours early with the stadium just 15 minutes away. Plenty of time to congregate with fellow fans of sports entertainment.

"The Korean Buzzsaw" Mike and his manager Lisa stalk the hallways

Oh and by the way, three people wearing wrestling shirts and carrying a heavyweight championship belt should never be asked the question "Going to Wrestlemania?" People asked, though. More than once.

After about 45 minutes spent in traffic, we finally got to park and were at the site of Wrestlemania 25: Reliant Stadium.


This dude showed us to our spot. He was very enthusiastic about his job.

Stoic and graceful

We walked the parking lot, passing car after car adorned with messages heralding their ultimate destination or their loyalty to a particular superstar.

Can to!

Then it was over a bridge, and we were on the Reliant Stadium grounds, ready to enter that hallowed space where modern-day gladiators would...gladiate.

There it is...the actual Road to Wrestlemania. And a fence.

We visited a couple of merch stands. After purchasing all necessary items to prove our attendance, we found our seats with ease. For those in the know, we were on the hard camera side, midway between the post and the top of the ramp.

Here.

It was pretty cool because we also had a nice view of some of the production equipment. If they needed a hand, I was ready to jump in and direct some cameras.

Oh, Mr. Sign Holder, how wrong you were proven. Don't you feel foolish now?

We surveyed our surroundings. Naturally, there was the typical breakdown of fans: the super marks, people dragged along with super marks, normal folks, and really annoying kids. And one tragic gentleman I'll get to later. Also, a couple of guys that seemed to have eaten something that disagreed with them.

Sitting pensively, planning their next toot.

Regardless, we were here. Wrestlemania 25!


Up first was the Money in the Bank ladder match. Fortunately for you, the only person who's intro I happened to capture on film was the winner's, C.M. Punk. We'll just go ahead and say I knew that was going to happen.

He's radioactive!

After Punk's big win, it was time to be entertained by Kid Rock, aka the Real McCoy. He played a few songs, people went to the bathroom, and then the divas came out for their big battle royal, which was more just a cluster of hot humanity.

Kelly Kelly is down there somewhere, and she should totally call me.

It should be noted that I didn't take pictures of every match. Obviously, they just don't turn out all that great unless you have some sort of fancy camera of the sorts, and since we just write this blog out of love, we're poor. But here's a picture of Chris Jericho that's pretty cool, I guess.

The grandest stage of them all

Next batch of photos is from the instant classic match between Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker. Michaels came out first, to the loud applause of the audience.

Thoughtful Hispanic is thoughtful.

Next is the Undertaker.


Mike and Lisa are fans of this.


Final match of the night went to Triple H and Randy Orton. I, of course, maintained a solid record of the action.

Here's someone kicking somebody.

That guy quite clearly has the advantage.

I think Randy may have lost a contact. Triple H is helping.

After the show, there were the obligatory "try to look way cooler than we actually are" pictures.


Ok, that one's pretty cool, but could I possibly look any dumber?

Yes. Yes I could.

Then it was outside for a little fresh air (much needed at this point) and to pose for more pictures.

Eat your heart out, ladies.

Mike making important phone calls. Lisa is blurry somehow.

And out in the street for more posing.


What a great trip. Back to the hotel for some rest, and then on the road the next morning back to Dallas. And no tickets this time! Thanks to the WWE for putting on the great show, and to the city of Houston for not being completely terrible to visit this time around.

Oh, remember that guy I told you about earlier? The one I said I'd get to later? Well, now is later, and here he is.


If it's not obvious, this man is a fan of one Mr. John Bradshaw Layfield. He had the whole get-up: the suit, the tie, the hat, and the smug look. And he played the part all evening. He was gracious enough for most of the night, but when it was time to stand up and put those signs in the air, he was a total cock about it, holding his up while everyone else had to strain to see around it. And when asked to put it down, he would simply reply with a defiant "No."

This was made all the more ridiculous by the fact that he didn't know how to make a sign. You see, on the front was a standard JBL picture, but on the back was supposed to be a message to those of us sitting behind him. Well, he outflanked himself, and put a little too much thought into how things should be oriented.


But all that ceased to matter when the big match of the night came for him. JBL would be facing Rey Mysterio and defending his Intercontinental Title...which he lost in 20 seconds.

Monday, April 6, 2009

The Granddaddy of them all! 21-second victory.

Wrestlemania was last night, so rather then have one "Oh Baby I like it RAW!" updating the entire night we're going to periodically update the blog today, highlighting each match with its own post. We will follow the order of the show.

Rey Mysterio vs John Bradshaw Layfield for the Intercontinental Championship.

For a theme song to accompany this post, please press play and enjoy...



This article recently popped up to promote Wrestlemania. As has become an annual treat, Rey Mysterio comes to Wrestlemania dressed as some comic character. Marvel Comics was thrilled to show off some of Rey's past Marvel inspired threads, so what does he show up as?

"Mi padre was a drinker...and a fiend."

That's right! Jeff Hardy!

Anyway, JBL missed a punch and this happened:

619 sounds so dirty.

Then JBL quit the WWE because he was so ashamed that a Mexican he worked so hard to block from the border beat him for a title.

"I'm off to sell more boner juice!" (seriously)

Next up: Shawn Michaels vs The Undertaker

Friday, March 27, 2009

R U READY TO DOWN SOME SMACK??? Layin' the SmackDown 500 times over

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

Smackdown celebrated its 500th episode last week by not doing anything special. Hardly any retrospectives, just more of that steady, dependable Smackdown action. And by that I mean, tons of Raw guys infiltrating our Friday night Oasis.

First off, Shawn Michaels is preparing for his big Wrestelmania match against the Undertaker. How did he plan to do this pray tell? By taking on the Undertaker's brother Kane! Because obviously taking on the incompetent brother of someone who can never beat his older brother is a valuable learning method.


Anyway, the Heartbreak Kid broke the hurt of the Big Emo by doing his best Machoman impression.


Dig it!

In response to this, the Undertaker took on HBK's old employer (and former Smackdown color man), John "Bradshaw" Layfield. He's also apprently the Intercontinental champion.

He's one IC title reign behind Santino.

Anyway, JBL is a smart man, so he put up a bit more of a fight then Kane. Unfortunatly, he was way too fat.

Too much of that sugary juice he peddles. That's his problem

Yea, so guess who won?

OOOO...insiderish...

Jeff Hardy went back to normal by acting all weird again.

Maybe Big Bossman killed his dog....

In preparation for his big, eXXXtreme rules match at Wrestlemania he decided to take on the hardcore icon himself, The Brian Kendrick (wait, what?)! Of course don't discount Kendrick's black man servant, Ezekial Jackson. And it's no rules! So he could bring a gun or something to the ring!


Yup, so that happened.

Also, one can only assume that the sizable donation to the Montal Vontavious Porter Orphanage for Sick Kids is the main cataylst for MVP's recent winning streak. In fact, he has won so much he even got a US title match against the champ, The Gold Standard, Shelton Benjamin! And he even held his own in the match.

Looks like Smackdown has their own Randy Orton...

And beyond holding his own, he...won!? He won!?



Oh, and HHH beat Vlad Kozlov and Edge inadverdantly speared his wife when Big Show was bragging about his affair. Happy 500th!

Well that sucked. Maybe tonight will be better. Tune in MyNetwork TV at 8/7c!

Monday, March 23, 2009

OH BABY, I like it RAW! Texas Hold 'Em

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

For a theme song to accompany this post, please press play and enjoy...



The road to Wrestlemania gets shorter and shorter by the day, and last week it led through San Antonio, Texas. Better head to the Alamo - the WWE is invading.

We're told that tonight, Mr. Cena will face Edge with Vickie Guerrero as special referee. Well, that just doesn't seem fair...

But first, we have big tag team action! Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker (aren't they going to fight in a couple weeks? This will never work...) versus Vladimir Kozlov and JBL.

Communism and Capitalism...how will they co-exist???

It turns out that HBK and the Deadman make a pretty effective team. I wouldn't expect that from two future Hall of Famers. However, the teamwork didn't last for long, as Shawn came in to steal the pin, leading to a tussle in the ring and then a surprise superkick to down the Phenom.


Edge and Vickie seem to have reconciled their differences. I'm glad that whole "I hooked up with your Wrestlemania opponent" thing is water under the bridge. Edge says Big Show is only using her to get ahead in his career.

"Plus, he's a nasty bastard. His momma said so."

Randy Orton says he's dropped the charges against Triple H, even though he broke into his house and assaulted he and his wife. Orton noted that she might never be the same.

"We'll hire a different actress next time."

We have a six-Diva tag match now. Why do I even mention these anymore?

Ohhhhhh....right.

Triple H is out of prison and here on Raw to face none other than that brutal beefcake of the squared circle, Cody Rhodes!





Yes, Trips caused a steel cage to manifest from the rafters. Seriously. This was not supposed to be a cage match. Hunter motioned his hand, and a cage came down around the ring, and everyone went along with it. This makes so much sense it's scary.



So for once in the history of professional wrestling, the steel cage did what it was supposed to do and kept Orton and Teddy Jr. out and Cody in so Triple H could pound on him for a while. Of course, it helps that HHH is somehow a wizard.


Rey Mysterio and Dolph Ziggler fought.


Jericho reissues his challenge to Ric Flair, and Flair comes down, but lets us all know he's going to leave the memories alone. He won't wrestle Jericho, but assures us all that he will, in fact, always be the Man.

"Because no one will ever beat me, see? Since I won't wrestle. Genius, really."

Flair says he won't wrestle him tonight or at Wrestlemania, but there are some people who would. Namely Roddy Piper, Jimmy Snuka, and Ricky Steamboat - coincidentally all the same guys Jericho beat up in the last few weeks. Who would have guessed?

The Worn Horsemen

Oh, also Flair and Mickey Rourke will be ringside.

Rammin' Rammy the Ram Ramison

Finally, as I said earlier, Edge is over from Shatdown to fight Mr. Cena. Not much happened here really. Here's the gist of it.

Benoit would be so proud.


Yeah, Big Show stepped in and helped out by beating up Cena. Whew! I guess we're all friends again, right Edge?


Nope! Edge isn't one to forgive and forget. Find out what SmackClown feuds will happen tonight on USA, 9/8c!