W.W.W. featuring Chris Jericho and Chris Jericho

On Wednesdays, we here at LOL, Wresslin' like to really pull out the stops and offer up a double shot of righteously killer content. Why Wednesday? Well, we could impress you with market research, work habit studies, and human psychology tendencies to show you there's a scientific reason the middle of the week is the best time to bring your A-game. However, truth be told, we don't have any of that stuff and settled on Wednesday because that was the only day that didn't have any content scheduled.

So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays," the ORIGINAL wrestling-themed, YouTube video comedic co-commentary. Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.

Better at naming stuff than us.

The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your DIY Hurricane costume how-to ain't going to fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.

After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.


Matt's video to Adam- Rowdy Roddy Piper and Chris Jericho Promo



Adam's response...

Before we get into all the shenanigans, let's put one thing to rest, Terri. Chris Jericho's chances of becoming the Intercontinental champion are 1 in 9. That's just basic math there, sweet tits.

I respect her for her brains

And also to answer your next question, Jericho didn't win. He lost to Christian. Roddy Piper also lost his match to Mr. America, so I think it's time the two of theme learned a lesson.

Side note: Judgement Day 2003 had to have been the PPV of double duty. Steven Richards wrestled on Heat and then accompanied Victoria to the ring for penultimate match of the night. Test had a tag match with Scott Steiner and then participated in the aforementioned battle royal. Val Venis was also in that match, which makes no sense, except that it was a battle royal for former IC champs. Because why give someone new a break? John Cena also jerked the curtain as a heel and beat Brian "Spanky" Kendrick in a six-man tag. Were we ever so young?

Oh sure, being loud and funny may get you a swank talk show segment. It might sell tee-shirts with the words "Ass Clown" or "Piper's Pit!" on them, but in the end you don't win. These men could also learn a bit about listening.

Seriously. this isn't a conversation. It's just two people waiting for the other one to shut up so that they can talk about themselves! This is essentially the script:

Piper: Your Highlight Reel sucks.
Jericho: You abused an amputee. You're fat.
Piper: You were an accident.
Jericho: I'm going to win the battle royal.
Piper: I'm going to beat Hogan. We don't have anything in common.

Well, that I agree with.


Adam's video to Matt - Chris Jericho gets a letter from Ted Turner



Matt's response...

Good Lord, Tony Schiavone is a fat slob. Seriously. Look at him.


Now, I know he was never a picture of perfect health, but at least he had himself together back in the NWA days. Of course, I suppose you'd have to if you're going to stand next to Ric Flair every night. That would inspire any of us to get in shape.

Spiderman, before meeting Ric Flair.

But in WCW? Well, Tony just decided not to give a rip. True, no one was ever going to mistake the guy for a ladykiller, but he put "looking middle-aged" into overdrive in a hurry.

He's killed more ladies than Schiavone. Figuratively and literally.

Tony pulls a few classic fat guy poses, too.

There's the "What do you mean you're out of pancakes?" look:


And then the "You're not really asking me to get tampons, are you?" look:


Finally, the "I just passed gas and hope no one notices" look:


His hair isn't doing him any favors either. I guess WCW spent all their money and time tending to Jericho's blonde locks.

As far as the subject of the video is concerned, I think this just proves what was wrong with WCW - Ted Turner notices a clear violation of the rules, admits there is a phony champion, and chooses to do nothing about for petty personal reasons. Good job in failing your company, Uncle Ted!

Goodbye to Wresslin'

Periodically the Laugh Twins venture out of their cave and take part in things in the real world. This is one of those periods. Last Monday's Raw was live from Madison Square Garden in New York City. Adam attended. Here are his thoughts:

First, I'm well aware that this probably should have been written a week ago. I didn't want to usurp Matt's Raw recap, but then I realized after the fact that Survivor Series was this past Sunday, so thus, we wouldn't have mentioned it. Whoops.

Also, I don't have a digital camera, so I didn't take any pictures of the event. Sorry.

Anyway, I attended last week's Raw. It was a birthday present to Intern Brian. It was also my first live event since Summerslam 2005. Let's just say that I was sorely disappointed.

I know. It's weird. You'd figure a live event from at Madison Square Garden hosted by Rowdy Roddy Piper (!) would be the most fun event in the world. And it sort of was. The show itself was good, I thought. I just really hated the crowd.

Seriously. I was embarrassed to be there.

I know I shouldn't have been. I didn't expect anything different. I just hated them. It's astounding how much I hated them. I know that WWE is TV-PG now, so I'm fine with all the kids there. Kids are annoying and selfish, sure, but they're kids. Let them hold up their signs and crotch chop and cheer John Cena until the cows come home. But the sheer amount of adults who acted terribly was startling to me.

There were adults, full fledged adults, who were getting in verbal fights with kids over various wrestling related things. Swearing at little kids. And just being all together disgusting. You'd think these men have never seen a woman before in their life. But lo and behold, when the Divas came out was the pop ever deafening. And this is today, when the T&A is downplayed to such a degree I get more aroused watching Giada De Laurentiis cook.

Although that's not a totally unreasonable statement...

Actually, that Divas' match is pretty much everything I hated about the crowd. First off, there was a special guest ring announcer, Judah Friedlander. He's a really funny stand up comedian. He's a star on the hilarious 30 Rock and is a legit WWE fan. He loves wrestling so much that he had a small role in The Wrestler. Is he the biggest star in the world? No. Is 30 Rock really in most WWE fans' TiVos? Probably not. But you still feel bad when people start chanting vulgarities at him just because he's not familiar to them. Of course, then the match started and people were captivated by the slim no chance they'd see some female nudity.

I'm well aware of the irony of all this. I objectify the Divas with as much regularity/vulgarity as anyone else does. I believe I once said that "Undertaker jism must have skin tightening properties" in reference to how solid Michelle McCool's abs are. But something about just screaming out "I want to see pussy!" with out any form of irony within ear shot of these women is just disgusting to me. In fact, when leaving the show, some dude in an Ed Hardy shirt said he needed to "go get a slice of pussy" after the show. Class.

This is also why I did not use this opportunity to promote the blog with palm cards or whatever. I think our humour would be lost on this crowd. And by "think" I mean "I know they will not appreciate our shrines to wrestler hog pictures." And trust me, I'd rather not have a million comments calling us "fags."

Another thing I hated, although this is mostly because the crowd was full of kids, was the complete lack of pop for Roddy Piper. This man is a LEGEND, kids. He was hilarious all night and even brought back in the Iron Sheik.

Side note: The theme for the show should have been Raw is Bury Hogan.

Again, I can sort of understand. Piper name dropped a bunch of older wrestlers who don't get much publicity now-a-days, and he also mentioned an interview he did with HBO Sports back in 2003, so it's reasonable that a kid born in 2001 wouldn't quite know what to make of it. I blame the product the schools for not letting the kids be rowdy.

Basically, I'm too old for this stuff. I don't find it entertaining anymore. And since it was a TV taping, the matches were much shorter than I'd enjoy. Maybe if this were a house show I'd of had more fun. Or maybe I need to be become even more elitist and start going to ROH shows. On second thought, those fans are even worse. Maybe, I just need to say goodbye to wresslin'.

It was fun while it lasted, but maybe I'm no longer an emotionally arrested male. Whatever intelligent discourse we try to bring to this piece of Americana will always be overshadowed by the ignorant rubes who also enjoy watching it. I'm not one to let others affect my enjoyment of things (like Batista, I walk alone to many pits of danger/concerts), but I don't think I could actually look anyone in the face and say "I'm going to Monday Night Raw!!" It's my own pissy attitude to get over, sure. But that doesn't mean I'm wrong to feel that way.

Oh, and if I'm not being snooty enough, if any of you guys use The Facebook, please vote for the charity I work with in this Chase Manhattan contest. All the money is for a good cause and all you have to do is allow Chase Manhattan complete access to all the info on your Facebook page!



In the event that this badge doesn't reroute you, the charity is Minds Matter New York. It's an educational charity for underprivileged kids. Why yes, I am so thoughtful. Thank you.

Wresslin' Media Roundup!

Professional wrestling sure is busy lately! We'd like to take credit for that. If we never published out LOLies a while back, both WWE and TNA would have no idea what to do. But since we did the shows have been packed. Whether it was our Wrestlers of the Year going one on one or our two Saddest Wrestlers preparing to go at it, it is undeniable that it's a good time be a wrestling fan.

However, there are times when there's too much going on. It's impossible to narrow it down to one topic. This is one of those times. Thus, we present to you the goings on of the entire wrestling world, albeit this time in some more unconventional places.

Television

Ask the Laugh Twins what their favorite television show is and you'd get some diverse answers. Sure, Raw and Smackdown are there, but the Twins interests extend beyond sweaty men. Well not really, because we also love 24 and Lost! However, one of our other favorite shows is a little gem on the FX network known as It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

For those not in the know, allow us to drop some 411 on you. Basically, imagine Seinfeld if it took place in Philadelphia, involved more depraved people, things happen, and is funny. You got IASiP. Anyway, last week's episode involved wrestling! The whole episode isn't on hulu yet (it will be Friday). Even so, it'll only be up for a small amount of time. Thus, check out this preview.



Yes, that was Danny Devito eating garbage. And yes, that was Rowdy Roddy Piper playing a wrestler.

Now normally, we Laugh Twins take immense glee in repeating jokes and passing them off as our own, but this is too special. For 30 minutes the entire episode delivers. Every joke hits. They nail wrestling culture very well. And they compare Hulk Hogan "to that of a Chinese man." Check it out if you haven't already.

Radio

The Allegeded LOLoCast still rules. Wrestlegasm also did some audio post which was really good when she put us over.

Internet

Well Ric Flair made us cry when he cut this ridiculous promo:



Elsewhere, LOL, Wresslin' continues to dominate every week day with the most beau coup of all wrestling comedy. Also, Shad Gaspard told Twitter he had swine flu, once again proving that Twitter is stupid (follow us!).

Film

WWE Films is planning on making an Undertaker origin story. Really.


Video Games

Smackdown vs Raw 2010 came out and is being heralded as the best Smackdown yet. In addition to a roster that includes both Christian and The Brian Kendrick, SvR2k10 boasts the most robust creation mode ever. In addition to old stand bys like create a wrestler and create a finisher, this year's edition has create a storyline. Basically, it's time to put your booking to the test! And to top it off, you can upload it to the the game servers and trade with other players (SiC's and all!).

So although awesome, there are still a few gripes we'd like ironed out. Listen (read?) up, THQ. Here's some consulting, pro boner (heheh) from the LT's!

• Include Ric Flair and Rowdy Roddy Piper- This should be a no brainer.
• In addition to the usual in-game Internet, include comedy blogs as well. And if you think you're going to get away with having a LAWL, Wrestling! then think again when our lawyer calls.
• Still need to tweek Create A Wrestler. As dictated in the Bragging Rights Bet, Matt must create Adam and play as him online. As we write this, Matt is having trouble accurately depicting Adam. He needs to look like:

Like this, but more handsome

And...

Like this, but sweeter.

• More realistic breast physics. Like this.
• Have there be penalties for wrestler's blading, like in real life! Maybe if both wrestlers get cut open and one of them happens to be William Regal there will be a SMALL chance of the other wrestler contracting HIV.
• More people should scream "TEH ANIMALE! GUNZ!" when Batista comes to the ring

Come on guys! It'd be easy to make all this happen! But no, all you care about is your stupid money and not the fans! ARGH!

W.W.W. featuing Cyndi Lauper and Jimmy Hart

On Wednesdays, we here at LOL, Wresslin' like to really pull out the stops and offer up a double shot of righteously killer content. Why Wednesday? Well, we could impress you with market research, work habit studies, and human psychology tendencies to show you there's a scientific reason the middle of the week is the best time to bring your A-game. However, truth be told, we don't have any of that stuff and settled on Wednesday because that was the only day that didn't have any content scheduled.

So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays." Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.

Better at naming stuff than us.

The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your video showing off your collection of homemade Ric Flair robes ain't going to fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.

After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.

Adam's video to Matt - Cyndi Lauper-Goonies R' Good Enough



Matt's reponse...

Well, this one was bound to come up sooner or later.

YouTube user MelRules911 suggests to skip ahead to the music that starts two minutes, but I think that's a horrible idea. I'm going to level with all of you: this music sucks. It's absolutely awful. Defend it all you want; you'll realize it sooner or later.

So that's not what I'm going to talk about. This video is basically a live-action version of Hulk Hogan's Rock 'n' Wrestling, and that's awesome. I've said it dozens of times on this site, but this is what professional wrestling is missing. Cartoonish characters. Big time stars that are buffoons. All the wrestlers featured in this video were top stars during this time, and they're ridiculous.

I'd like to focus on the heels here. We're supposed to be afraid of them, right? At the very least, they're bullies and they'll give us a black eye and a fat lip, which is no fun. But what do they really do? If we pay attention, it's really nothing worse than what your dad probably did to you when you were a kid (assuming, of course, that you haven't been on Maury).

For instance, they hoist you up as if they're about to toss you into the swimming pool against your will...


They throw you over their shoulder...


They ask you to hand them tools...

I swear you said "wrench."

They make you do chores...


So really, they don't seem to be anything to worry about. They're just some rambunctious entrepreneurs looking to invest in a gas station; they embody that unique American spirit. And somehow, they've convinced a Russian and an Iranian that this capitalistic endeavor is worthwhile. That's truly something to be admired.

However, they get punished. Worst of all, it's by Andre the Giant in an outfit that should have really stayed in the costume department.


I'll never have another wet dream.

Matt's video to Adam- Jimmy Hart on TV Guide Channel



Adam's response...

Why does this exist? The TV Grid channel was hot back in 1996 when awesome things had yet to be invented. But now we have digital cable. Seriously, what's wrong with you that you own cable (you have the TV Grid..you own cable) but do not have a cable box for digital cable? You don't even need a special wire! The cable company has already switched for coax to fiber optics! What are you holding out for, jackass?

Thus, the TV Guide Channel should not exist, nor should it make enough income to create original programming to play on top of the grid. No one is watching it. We have digital cable now. We can program our own grids. No need to watch your terrible station any longer. Viva la televisiona revolution!

However, like other unpleasant things, it exists and we have to deal with it.

So like I said, almost NOBODY is watching this (I'm seriously surprised someone taped it). Obviously you're not going to waste HHH's time going to a pointless promotional vehicle. Vince McMahon's a little busy to be dropping in on Teresa Strasser (stage name!). Who gets sent then? "The Mouth of the South" Jimmy Hart, of course!



Listen, Jimmy's a legend, wrote some cool songs, and seems like a genuinely nice guy. He hung out in the Columbus Walmart to help out his friend's daughter, for Christ's sakes. But I wouldn't exactly clear the schedule for him (ok, maybe I would, but not programmer Adam).

Of course, it's not as if Jimmy should have been so accommodating to these miscreants. Take our male co-host, John Fugelsang (stage name!). First he insults the Mouth from the South's jacket (which Jimmy takes in stride because he realizes that, hey!, he's a character), then he condescendingly says "If there's two things I love it's wrestling and pay-per-view." Listen here, douche. You're not perfect. According to your bio you are the son of a former nun and Franciscan Brother; two people who swore celibacy in the name of our Lord. Yet, why did they have a child? Are they perhaps weak and gave in to the temptation of sinful flesh? So off the bat you were a bane on society. And then you hosted America's Funniest Home Videos, so you know (tm) what dude? Go ahead and suck it.

The Miz <Douchebag John FugelsangAll of the previous things are synonyms

Also, you know what happens when you question the athletic prowess of professional wrestlers?


Now, I would be remiss if I did not mention the dynamite drop in from the show's Hole. The standard, "we're having fun, but you know what's not fun? A double murder suicide. (of course, if you read the blog, you know that we think different)" Way to be hard hitting there, Mrs. Killjoy. But guess what happened? The big dumb wrestler handled it with class and dignity, so one more point for Jimmy on your worthless show.

This is not to say that Hart was perfect. Far from it. You see, wrestling is a work. Always has been a work. Always will be a work. Which is why Jimmy Hart is a liar. When steroids were brought up and he said "never seen them," well that's not true. I find it hard to believe that people are injecting themselves and then go "Oh crap, Jimmy Hart's in the locker room. This will sure upset him! We better not do it!" You managed Hulk Hogan too, brother. In the 80's. You saw steroids. That happened.

Also, your admission that you think they're fine pretty much gave you away. Poor poker face there, Mouth.

But you know what the most important thing we learned from this is? What ended up saving this entire train wreck? Something that renews your faith in people?

The Harlem Bookfair is on CSPAN 2 at 2 O'Clock.

W.W.W. featuring Ric Flair and Sam Roberts

On Wednesdays, we here at LOL, Wresslin' like to really pull out the stops and offer up a double shot of righteously killer content. Why Wednesday? Well, we could impress you with market research, work habit studies, and human psychology tendencies to show you there's a scientific reason the middle of the week is the best time to bring your A-game. However, truth be told, we don't have any of that stuff and settled on Wednesday because that was the only day that didn't have any content scheduled.

So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays." Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.

Better at naming stuff than us.

The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your armpit fart medley of Dean Malenko themes a'int going to fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.

After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.

Matt's video to Adam- Ric Flair reveals shocking photos of him with Miss Elizabeth!



Adam's response...

The first thing everyone notices about a professional wrestler is his entrance music. We've written about this many times. The Nature Boy Ric Flair has had Stauss's (correct grammar) "Also Sprach Zarathustra" for almost his entire career. It's almost as important to his entire being just as much as the stylin', profilin' and figure-four's are. I say "almost" because honestly, Slick Ric could have had this and just been fine. Why? Because it's accurate and true.

Unlike you, Flair's been around the world. And also unlike you, he's been with many, many girls.

Which makes this storyline involving Randy Savage and his blushing bride Elizabeth so wonderful. Sure, anytime a man insinuates he's mowing another man's lawn it's serious. But this is Randy and Elizabeth! The same Randy who was so possessive of her beauty that he'd lock her in a closet at the arena so as other men wouldn't flirt with her. So when Naitch unleashes his master plan, well, let's just say shits gonna get reeeeeeeelllll.

"OOOO yeaaaa! I don't trust my co-workers or wife! Dig it!"

And what is this plan? Why, to show off a copy of an upcoming WWF magazine. Or as Flair calls it, "more than just a magazine" even though it isn't. On the cover, some poorly laid out stock photographs. Inside? Slick Ric shows off some shots from his personal collection. He uses these photos as the basis for his insight into Elizabeth's mindset (which he chooses to describe using language only a third rate romance novel would use.)


Now as for the photograph. For a candid photo between two people together at the time, it sure has a lot of professional sheen on it. Seriously, who poses for photos like that? Did he someday know she'd marry Savage and he'd be facing him for the World Title at Wrestlemania VIII?


Now for a legendary cooze hound like Flair, he sure is inconsistent with his put down. Telling someone that so-and-so is your sloppy seconds is the best diss ever (and apparently, can get you suspended for half an NHL season), but then coming back and saying how he'll take her back whenever? Attraction doesn't work that way, Naitch. You can't call another man's wife trash and then offer to give her a ride on Space Mountain anytime she likes.

Of course, I'm still single, so what do I know?

And johnnyfairbanks, nice job cutting the video off at the climax, shitdick.

Adam's video to Matt - Prime Time Sam Roberts interviews Wrestlemania 25 superstars



Matt's response...

Hey Adam, what's the haps?

Or is it happs? I'm going to have to consult "Being a Douchebag" on that one.


Obviously, my first instinct is to rip on the guy for that bit, but I'll let it go. Interesting the first person whom they showed catch on to it was Mark Henry, or as YouTube user "FartScrap" called him, the "big shadow in the tan suit." It was a funny enough way to start the segment, I suppose.

Not being an "Opie and Anthony" mark like Adam is, I'm not familiar with Prime Time Sam Roberts. He's alright though, and the wrestlers seem to like him well enough. Anytime you can have a light-hearted and congenial conversation with Trips about Vince McMahon's death, you must be a decent guy. That was his father-in-law, after all.

After his silly bit, he actually has some interesting questions for these guys. I particularly enjoyed him asking Roddy Piper about Hell Comes to Frogtown, seeing as how I'm one of the hundred people in America that own that movie.

Proof.

Piper's response of "we have an asshole here" is such wonderful "Piperness" also.

As is Flair's declaration that they don't have the word "not succeed" in their vocabulary.

I'm not finding it in mine either...

I guess I can rate the interviewees on how interesting they were during their interview. Now, sometimes that's unfair, because a subject can only be as good as their interviewer allows them to be, but a lot can be said for exuding a certain kind of presence that shines through no matter what.

6. Eve and Kelly Kelly
I'm not sure if this is part of the reason why Adam sent me this, but let me make it clear to him that I don't like Kelly Kelly for the way she answers questions. Seriously, could these two be any more boring? At least Mickie James would have offered you some squirrel jerky or something.


5. Edge
Controversial pick? I don't think so. Edge never impressed me all that much with his personality to begin with, and he doesn't pick up any points here. Don't be political! Say that it was gross to kiss Vickie! We all know it!

Seriously dude. WE ALL KNOW.

4. Mark Henry
This is where it starts getting close, because I really liked Mark Henry here. Ok, so he had the most generic answer in world when asked about Wrestlemania 25, but he made up for it talking about hair later on. And really, who doesn't want to hear Mark talk for long periods of time? Don't count me in that group!

3. Chris Jericho
It's nice to see Jericho out of character for a bit here. Really, there's nothing more to it than that. And they talk about big words.

That one I can find.

2. Roddy Piper and Ric Flair
It's hard not to pick these two as the best, but they seemed a little off. Maybe they just weren't in the mood to answer questions, or didn't feel like playing around. I can understand that; these two are legends and now some diphead is asking them "What's the happs?" They don't have time for that. Of course, it's funny when they talk about Hell Comes to Frogtown, and even funnier when Naitch reveals that he's never seen it. Very supportive of you, Flair.

1. Triple H
It's no secret that I'm a Triple H fan. Call me a front-runner if you will, but it's not just because he wins all the time. Actually, it's not about that at all. I always like his personality during interviews and he just seems to have a good time, which is certainly the case here. Obviously these two have a bit of a history, and it's fun to seem the play off that. But mainly I just like to see the Cerebral Assassin not assassinating people. I actually stayed up to watch him on "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon," if that tells you anything. Worth viewing, if only for The Roots playing "King of Kings."

W.W.W. featuring Roddy Piper telling a funny story and Black Machismo

On Wednesdays, we here at LOL, Wresslin' like to really pull out the stops and offer up a double shot of righteously killer content. Why Wednesday? Well, we could impress you with market research, work habit studies, and human psychology tendencies to show you there's a scientific reason the middle of the week is the best time to bring your A-game. However, truth be told, we don't have any of that stuff and settled on Wednesday because that was the only day that didn't have any content scheduled.

So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays." Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.

Better at naming stuff than us.

The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so the million "Ric Flair, leave the memories alone!" music videos a'int gonna fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.

After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.

Matt's Video to Adam- Roddy Piper Tells a Really FUNNY Story!



Adam's response...

We may have said it before, but Matt and I met while we were members of our college radio station. There were very few wrestling fans at our college, since we attended a liberal arts institution. That's probably why we became friends. We could talk about Ric Flair with each other. I eventually came to my senses and left the radio station. Matt didn't and still works in radio today. Regardless, I'm going to throw out a little radio terminology for you folks; "Hole." The Hole is a vapid, annoying female co host who is on a radio show with a predominantly male listenership. She is meant to tame those boys down and bring a little sensitivity. The thought process is "if one female condones all this crass behavior, shouldn't all women?" Of course, she mostly just goes "Oooooo...you guys!" and fake laughs all over any segment. You'll see (hear).

For what we have here is Rowdy Roddy Piper being a guest on Fishkill NY's flagship station for classic rock, WBPM 92.9! He's guesting on their morning show, The Electric Morning Show, where it is advertised that "Your mornings will NEVER be the same."

Above: Zaniness

I'll take their word on it.

Anyway, this video does not lie. Roddy Piper does tell a funny story. But damned if you can hear it that well, because the Hole just yucks it up over every single word Hot Rod says.

You can't see it, but their pants are down to their ankles, but they still have on their drawers. Why they pee at urinals like that I have no idea. Guess they're just wacky.

Don't believe me? Read the comments. Everyone posts on how awful the Hole is. I'm not even going to bother retyping them because they are so crass. But what do you expect from SHOCK JOCKS.

Oh man! Bobbing for apples out of a PRISTINE toilet! How extreme! And those apples look kind of like doody (tee hee, I said "doody")!

Still, I'm a professional. Let me see if I can decipher her mating call and actually get into this laugh fest. Supposedly what's so funny is a bear trainer giving Roddy some important safety tips.

Above: Better job then morning radio show hack.

Then he tells another story about wrestler's being great ribbers. An old friend of his decides discreetly place some honey on Roddy's tights.

"What are you looking at? This is just a normal day at the office for us!"

What a hilarious prank! He endangered his friend Roddy's life! You know (tm), the more and more I hear about what great kidders the wrestler's are, the more and more I think they're just assholes. Watch Owen Hart tribute testimonials on Youtube. All the wrestlers have a story of some awful prank Owen committed on them. Every single one has a unique story. And they all say something akin to "I was pretty mad at the time...but I guess now it's kinda funny." Why? Because the man died? Maybe, he's an asshole, ever think of that? Stealing towels from the locker room so Droz has to walk out the shower naked is a lot different then someone putting BEAR FOOD on a man's ass when he wrestles a BEAR.

There are no words.

God that Hole is annoying.


Adam's video to Matt - TNA Webography: Black Machismo



Matt's response...

Jay Lethal. Probably the best thing about TNA. For me, at least. He'd be the only reason I tune in to watch, and since I don't, I guess he's not that big of a reason. Still, I can totally appreciate what he's doing here. The man has a talent - a nearly dead-on impersonation of Macho Man Randy Savage - and he plays that up to the fullest.

I can tell you right now that I would get Black Machismo's rap album as well. He may not have collaborated with the Raskills, but I think I might put a little more faith behind his rapping skills. I can't quite put my finger on why, but I just would...

Maybe because he doesn't look like this.

And the man also knows what priorities are, correctly positioning "a good set of glasses" at the top of that list. Seriously, what in your life isn't made better by a good set of shades? Nothing, that's what.


I'm not quite sure I understand the superpower question. Is he being asked what superpower he wants? Or which one he already possesses? Because clearly he's able to control his rage already. I mean, he comes close, of course, but he still keeps that wild animal tucked away, unlike some other wrestlers we know.

Dave's superpower, incidentally, is "tearing biceps."

I think, though, that for everything that's great about Black Machismo, he only underscores what's terrible about TNA. It seems more and more obvious that the company, if not built on actual has-beens, is built on the memory of has-beens. TNA Wrestling is sort of like a greatest hits album, only one where the band gets back to record the songs again after thirty years, or maybe other bands cover the tunes. So you're not really getting the greatest hits, you're getting approximations of the greatest hits.

That's TNA wrestling to me. A brand that doesn't seem to mind reminding everyone that there's another wrestling brand out there, and try as hard as they might not to be, they're still better than TNA. A brand that says if they can't get the beat-up old timer themselves, they'll just get a younger, more talented guy to do an impression of them. No, Jay Lethal isn't the only one.

This dude does a Steve Austin bit. Explain that to me.

And clearly the fans don't get it either. A good portion of them are appreciative, but of course there are the ones that "know what they're talking about" and claim that he's just a wanna-be. And the ones that need to inform us that Jay Lethal borrows from Macho Man Randy Savage, in case we didn't know. Or there's bigbradford69, a 40-year-old dude from South Georgia, who chimes in with this gem from a week ago: "LYNCH N---ERS."

Congratulations, YouTubers, you've only given that one a -5 rating. That's less than the guy who said "FIRST VIEW AND COMMENT, O YEA."

The Granddaddy of them all! Jericho defeats legends; brawls with Rourke

Wrestlemania was last night, so rather then have one "Oh Baby I like it RAW!" updating the entire night we're going to periodically update the blog today, highlighting each match with its own post. We will follow the order of the show.

Chris Jericho vs "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, "Super Fly" Jimmy Snuka, and Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat with Ric Flair in their corner in an elimination handicap match.

For a theme song to accompany this post, please press play and enjoy...



You know who didn't like The Wrestler? Certainly not us. We loved it! Chris Jericho didn't like it. He thought it was paying homage to old broken down horses when all the emphasis should be on him, Chris Jericho! Ooo..what a young punk! Anyway, the very recent world heavyweight champion took on these three specimens.

Piper and Snuka should never be allies.

And it doesn't get much better then that. Look at this elevation:

FAIL

Or what about this Superfly tamer old Lionheart locked in:

He may be able to hook a hooka, but Jericho can hook a Snuka.

And although in fantastic shape for an old-ass man (hell, even a young-ass man), even The Dragon's boat ran out of steam.


So you probably think that's it. Jericho proved his point and beat up a few octogenarians. Well, YOU'D BE WRONG! Ric Flair brought in his secret weapon, star of The Wrestler Randy "The Ram" Robinson!

Umm...Rammy looks a little small there..

Err... we meant Mickey Rourke. Still, he used to be a professional boxer, so don't count him ou-

"If you've ever seen something sad that rhymes with 'me' then you've seen me"

Take that, you Canadian jackass! Come on Ric, let's go ahead and dance the night away!

Nice hat, shit dick.

Next up: Matt Hardy vs Jeff Hardy