The Stars Descend Onto Hollywood

The Oscars were this past Sunday and our favorite movie of the year, The Wrestler, was nominated in the Best Actor and Best Supporting Actress categories. The film went 0 for 2. Although Marisa Tomei losing wasn't much of a surprise, Mickey Rourke not taking home the little gold man for his portrayal of Randy the Ram was surprising. Rourke was the heavy favorite, as the comeback story of his character really mirrored the comeback of his personal life. Of course, Hollywood doesn't always play fair.

No, perhaps Rourke was too much of a "rebel" for the Academy to take him seriously. After all, it's heavily rumored he'll be involved with Wrestlemania this year, and his past doesn't necessarily make him the most trustworthy fellow when given a live mic. Here's his acceptance speech from the Independent Spirit Awards, held one night before the Oscars [NSFW language (although Eric Roberts is in the clip, so you gotta balance your priorities.)]



Still, we don't think that one day before an award ceremony really sways the vote. If that were the case then the death of his beloved dog a few days ago would probably have swung a few votes his way, but things don't work that way in the movies...

...unlike some other deaths in some other elections we might know.

Still, the Oscars are a fun time! Win or lose! No one knows a good time better then the superstars of the WWE! They came out for a big Oscar party, the Haven Young Hollywood Oscar Party (co-sponsored by the WWE), to help support The Wrestler and have an all around great time! And it also doesn't hurt to hob knob with a few A-List stars. Take a look:

Kofi Kingston

Kelly Kelly

Try and hold back the excitement, boys.

Nice shirt choice, shit dick.

Nice dress choice, pretty lady.

They made wishes come true too!

Maryse and Make-a-Wish kid, Chow Chow.

Priceless suspect that this may actually be a middle aged man and not a sick kid.

Also on the red carpet were some non-wrestling celebrities as well!

Reality TV stars The Miz and Corrine Kaplan of Survivor.

Reality TV stars the Gastineau Girls

Who?

Ok, so maybe it's really like...E! Network celebrities...

Still, the party was bumpin' all night! Look at how crammed the inside was!



Kofi was scratching some non-existent vinyl!



And super star singer/actor/all around entertainer Aaron Carter snuck in and got cozy with the Divas:

Cha-ching! Look at his hand placement!

And hey, the party was so much fun that Priceless finally started to loosen up.

This...

...lead to this

And we can owe this horseplay to one thing only:

Hollywood Coke party!

OH BABY, I like it RAW! The Return of Matt

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

For a theme song to accompany this post, please press play and enjoy...



It's taken me some time to get this column back in order. I had to spend the week cleaning out all the pizza boxes and diet soda cans Adam left stacked up around here like some sort of garbage Jenga game. I hope you enjoyed our little "Twin Swap." I didn't, because I had to watch Smackdown, but perhaps it was enjoyable for you.

So today is MLK Day. I hope your family is nestled warmly at home, putting the final presents under the MLK Day tree, with a warm turkey in the oven, and getting the kids all excited about going out to watch the MLK Day fireworks. But before all that, let's recap what happened last week on Raw.

Stephanie comes down and says she's excited for the Rumble, and blah blah Vince is coming back blah blah blah. Wait a minute...WHAT??! Vince is coming back?! Isn't he dead?

Apparently not, or the Undertaker is woefully inept at his day job, because Mr. McMahon didn't make it in the ground. He's coming to Raw next week (today!)!!! And Jericho seems to think that means he doesn't have to listen to Stephanie anymore. He tells her that.


Jericho demands that he be given the title shot at the Rumble, and he won't wrestle anymore unless there's a title on the line. Stephanie says that's ok, but good luck finding a title IN THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE!

That's right, she fired him! Jericho is gone!! He was escorted out by security. Maybe that means we can get a whole new set of teaser promos before he returns again.

I still think this meant the Rock and Stone Cold were coming back, but I think that fell through.

Later on, backstage, we see Candice Michelle saying she thought Vince had died. Well, honey, that's two things we agree on...

This being the other.

She was talking to an unconcerned C.M. Punk who was getting ready for his match against William Regal for the IC Title. This one has a stipulation that if Regal gets DQ'd, he loses the belt. Well, what do you know? Regal fakes a low blow and get Punk disqualified, thereby retaining his title again!


So there's going to another match, this time with no DQs at all. I'm sure that will cut out all the shenanigans.

Significant amounts of dumbface in this picture

Kane and Orton fought. Unremarkable match, but it seems that some members of NKOTB are unhappy. Namely Sim Snuka and Manu. Seems they're planning something against Randy. Manu and Snuka come down to meet Orton and Cody Rhodes who are already in the ring, but guess what! They brought back-up in the form of Ted DiBiase, Jr.!! Oh man, this is going to be priceless.

And more dumbface from Sim.

That's right, Teddy Jr. tipped off Orton and Rhodes about the plot, and they teamed up instead. Now THAT'S why they say he's priceless. Oh baby, he's priceless.

Kelly Kelly came out, but her match didn't happen because some chick got jumped outside the ring. No reason to mention it other than to show a photo of her.

oh, did I ever...

Our main event of the night was Shawn Michaels versus Mr. Cena. This was being referred to as "HBK's Wrestlemania." I'm not sure why, since we're still a few months away from Wrestlemania, but alright; we'll roll with it. This was a pretty awesome match, with Michaels finishing off Cena on his own, without the help of JBL who was waiting on the side. Of course, JBL had to come in and take some of the credit.

"See? I can stand over his limp body too!"

Ready to see Vince?? Me too! Will he be a zombie? One can only hope, and find out tonight, 9/8c on USA!

OH BABY, I like it RAW!!

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coarsing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremecy has charged both of them up enough provide handy recaps to the previous week's show. That way no new viewers would feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

For a theme song to go along with this blog post, please press play and enjoy...

Here we have the first Raw after No Mercy, broadcast from Seattle, so let's recap what they had in store for us. First, Jericho comes out touting quite a mouth shiner (I don't know if that's what you call it, but that what we call it) saying that Adamle is off tonight and he's in charge. Because that's how the chain of command works. And as we've learned in the past, it's never a bad idea to put a wrestler in charge. They won't do ANYTHING in their own interests and only make decisions that benefit the show as a whole. They would never deny someone a shot at the belt, only to put that someone in a Number 1 Contender match with themselves as ref, and two other enemies of that someone as time keeper and commentator...oh wait, Jericho did that? To Batista? Oh ok, well screw me then.

Canadian.

Big surprise that Batista powerbombed him to end the first segment. After that, Raw was pretty much forgettable. Santino had a match against Jamie Noble, and since Jamie Noble is an easy target, we'll spare him for now (Author's note: Jamie does think that Waffle House is a fine night on the town, so that garners him some street cred with us.) Santino decides to show his love for his favorite NBA team...

FAT!

OHHHHH! I get it! Because the Seattle team moved to Oklahoma City and renamed themselves the Thunder. Oh, Santino, that MUST be a sore subject to these fans. You probably should have decided to wear that shirt some other time.

Then Kofi fought Priceless. No, not the entire team, just Ted DiBiase, Jr. Speaking of, they should probably either name the stable Priceless, or just Junior, because it's getting a little confusing.

Priceless ends up winning this match, because he cheats or whatever. So, you mean to tell me the clearly better athlete didn't win this contest? And here I was raised to believe guys from Jamaica could do anything.

These guys competed in the Olympics.

Shawn Michaels came to fight Lance Cade in a No Disqualification match. Know what that means happened? The same thing that happens during a regular match, only the ref doesn't have to have his back turned/be knocked out/trip and fall out of the ring/tie his shoes/check his auctions on eBay. As you can imagine, this thing was intense...


Oh, and Batista won his match, even though the cards were stacked against him. Know why? He's THE ANIMAL!!!


There you go! Everything you need to know to keep up this week! Tune in 9/8c on USA and drink it in.