We put the LOL in wrestling (if you add an "O" and another "L", we guess.)
Here you will be invited into the world of two working, college educated gentlemen who happen to love the world of professional wrestling, but love to ridicule things even more.
Life after professional wrestling can be hard. The Wrestler taught us that. It also taught us that Marisa Tomei makes a more than acceptable stripper, and Jersey is one shithole after another. But making the transition from the WWE to other forms of income can be hard.
Imagine our surprise when we came across this tidbit on former WWE Diva Victoria's blog (also imagine our surprise that we were reading Victoria's blog) - she's considering making a run in MMA fighting.
Now, we know you have a couple questions. Tough ones, like "Who cares?" Well, we can't answer that. But what if you're asking, "How's that going to work?" We can help you there.
It's certainly not unheard of. Brock Lesnar is the current UFC Heavyweight Champion. So that's a good start! And you have the man partly responsible for Vince getting his head shaved, Bobby Lashley, who left the WWE for MMA and won his first fight apparently. Good for him!
In her own words:
I have really increased my jiu-jitsu training...I have also been contacted by several agents, a couple of whom represent current and former UFC Champions...I think they think I can fill seats.
Yeah, YOUR seat
Good for her, though. We hope it works out. And if it does, who might she be facing?
We're predictable. We know.
Allow LOL, Wresslin' to say "Good luck, Victoria!" Go punch a female or two, just for us!
In related news (related only because we came across this story today as well), PWTorch.com is hosting an article with the headline "Hart family wrestler producing documentary on up-and-down career." Now, who might that be?
Down, mostly.
Actually it's Teddy Hart. Can't wait for that one in theaters!
On Wednesdays, we here at LOL, Wresslin' like to really pull out the stops and offer up a double shot of righteously killer content. Why Wednesday? Well, we could impress you with market research, work habit studies, and human psychology tendencies to show you there's a scientific reason the middle of the week is the best time to bring your A-game. However, truth be told, we don't have any of that stuff and settled on Wednesday because that was the only day that didn't have any content scheduled.
So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays." Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.
Better at naming stuff than us.
The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your compilation of your favorite wrestling entrances from the '90s ain't gonna fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.
After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.
Matt's video to Adam- Rowdy Roddy Piper and Bret Hart Interview at Wrestlemania VIII
Adam's response...
A few years back Matt and I got together and watched the WWE produced Roddy Piper documentary. There was one sentence repeated over and over in our commentary of it: "I had no idea how awesome Roddy Piper was (not that he's still not awesome, but we were watching footage from the 80's)." That's a remarkable statement because we both think Piper is pretty awesome. We love They Live. We've seen all of his other movies as well and love them. Plus, he's an amazing wrestler and entertainer. We knew all this going in. And yet, we had no idea HOW awesome he truly is.
That's pretty much the what I think of this Piper/Bret Hart promo from Wrestlemania VIII. Is there anything in here that's especially remarkable? No. In fact, as far as Piper goes, I've seen better. But it's the nuances of it that make it special. Namely, the way Hot Rod not so subtly throws in a diss in the middle of his stories. The way he gets so excited just to hear his name introduced. The way he gets so angry and emotionally turns off Bret Hart. It's poetry.
Let's talk about Bret for a minute. How was this man ever a success? Sure, he's great in the ring. There's no doubt about that. But look at his overall presence in comparison to Roddy; it's nonexistent. He's just standing there in all pink and leather, and is able to mumble "I'm only focused on winning." Blah blah. I'd go on but his life is already filled with enough tragedy. (Even I'm not crass enough to make an Owen Hart joke. Ok, maybe one.)
Seriously though, the Hart family is just a travesty of misfortune.
I need to apologize to the LOL, Wresslin' audience. Not for that joke, but for the mere fact that this W.W.W. isn't up to the usual standard we set for ourselves. It's just that when I'm faced with real talent, something really great in all its nooks and crannies, well I just can't compete. Roddy Piper is better then me and I'm OK with that.
Adam's Video to Matt - K-Kwik & Road Dogg live rap
Matt's response...
Ah, the year 2000...a simpler time in America. Both the WWF and Sunday Night Heat still existed. How naive we all were.
Wrestling historians look back on the night of November 12, 2000 and debate what exactly was the draw to Heat that night (it would pull a 2.6 rating, a point higher than the episodes before and after it). Could it possibly be Kurt Angle, less than a month into his first reign as WWF Champion, defending his title against an unknown opponent?
It was Crash, by the way.
"Unknown" still applies
A new champion defending his strap is sure to get a few viewers, but surely that's not it. There has to be something else...something breathtaking...something ROWDY.
Enter K-Kwik and Road Dogg. Well, Road Dogg at least. I hear the fella on-stage giving an intro to K-Kwik, but I don't see him coming out to perform. That's odd, seems like he'd be th-OH WAIT! THAT'S K-KWIK! He was wearing a shirt the whole time! That's why I didn't recognize him!
Incogneetus
K-Kwik introduces himself and Road Dogg as the "hottest tag team to hit the music industry." Uh, sorry there, Mr. Kwik, but you're a little late.
He also says they are destined for greatness. More on that in a moment.
Now, in case you budding rappers are looking for a hot cover, I hope you are considering "Get Rowdy," because it's a real firestarter. Allow me to provide the lyrics for you:
We get rowdy Come on, come on, come on We get rowdy 'Bout to move something K-Kwik talking about moving things come on We get rowdy 'Bout to move something Come on, come, on come on D-O-Double G is gettin' rowdy 'Bout to move something D-O-Double G get rowdy
So let's do a little episode of LOL, Wresslin's Where Are They Now?, just to see how "great" these two became. Not long after this performance, K-Kwik headed over to TNA, where he:
...immediately established himself as a heel by harassing NASCAR drivers Sterling Marlin and Hermie Sadler... source Wikipedia
That would do it, for sure. After wrestling with TNA until 2007, The Truth (as he was known there) went his own way, only to resurface in the WWE as R-Truth earlier this year. He's gone on to become a Slammy award winner for Best Musical Performance. Greatness? One could say, "Perhaps."
And what of his tag partner Road Dogg? Well, he made the jump to TNA as well, wrestling as B.G. James. After teaming with K-Kwik again in 3Live Cru, he and Billy Gunn (known as Kip James) would form the James Gang, later known as the Voodoo Kin Mafia. VKM would cut promos on Vince McMahon and Degeneration-X, proving that if you can't beat the competition, make fun of them.
"You're doing WHAT on New Year's Eve?"
B.G. James was last seen holding back Jeff Jarrett from beating up Kurt Angle, not a small task at all. So it seems K-Kwik was correct.
Now, as far as "gettin' rowdy" is concerned - it's not impressive to be rowdy after rowdy is cool. Everyone knows that.
Last week, the WWE handed out their annual awards for excellence in execution, the Slammys. And by "annual," we mean "whenever the hell they feel like it." The Slammys have been awarded five times in the history of the company, in 1986 and '87, 1996 and '97, and now 2008.
As the wrestling comedy blog of record, we thought we'd look back and compare past winners with the current batch of "Best of..." desginees. That is utterly impossible, since the categories change from ceremony to ceremony. We're starting to think this is a cheap gimmick to propel storylines, but that can't be, can it?
The first awards were handed out in Baltimore, Maryland. Winners of note were Gene Okurlund, who took home the Golden Boys for Best Commentator, and Junkyard Dog, who won the Best Single Performer category.
No one had a problem with this gimmick?
In 1987, neither of those awards existed, so we don't have to worry about repeat winners. George Steele was given the statue for "Best Performance by an Animal." Lucky for him Batista wasn't around back then. He beat out the likes of Damian, Jake Roberts's snake, proving that pets do take after their masters.
Hacksaw Jim Duggan was awarded the "Best Hit." Something tells us he's still living up to that designation. More on that tomorrow...
Vince McMahon performed the song "Stand Back," and after a blistering introduction from Jesse Ventura, we're treated to this few minutes of pure, solid gold:
The good ol' days
Also, receiving the award for "Best Head" were Gene Okerlund and Bam Bam Bigelow. We always thought Mean Gene had a pretty mouth.
Yum yum...
On to 1996: Sunny wins the "Best Buns" award, beating both Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon. We demand a recount. But HBK does come back and win "Best Slammin' Jammin' Entrance," proving that 1996 was stupid. Owen Hart was nominated but lost the award for "Crime of the Century" after taking credit for Shawn's collapse. Shawn would have the courtesy not to do the same for Owen later in their careers.
Owen Hart has an interesting history with the Slammys, having recieved two but winning neither of them. He accepted the award for Greatest Shocker (minds up here, folks) after Shawn won after collapsing, and then in 1997, he blatantly stole an award which he wasn't even nominated for: Best Bow Tie. Owen, you make us sick.
Ill-gotten gains
The '97 awards were pretty tame. Undertaker won for Best Music, and Shawn for Best Finisher. Sable was awarded Miss Slammy, which yes, we will agree she should be slammed. Oh...too late.
Now, for 2008, there are a couple awards we take issue with. First, Mr. Cena being snubbed for Superstar of the Year is just a travesty. We're all for Jericho, but come now - let's be real. Also, there are three categories that definitely could have been condensed into one, saving us some precious time: the "Oh My God" Moment of the Year, the "Damn!" Moment of the Year, and the Extreme Moment of the Year. Jeff Hardy won the last one, which means all you have to do is put on a little face paint and not give a damn.
Finally, Beth Phoenix won Diva of the Year. No fair giving that award to a man.
Now, before we get into what caused such a ruckus, we’d like to react to the event as it happened.First off, it appears that Mr. Hall may have been under the influence of alcohol.We don't want to wildly speculate here, but saying Scott Hall was drinking is not all that wild and probably not speculation.However, what was more alarming was how Scott Hall was doing the crotch chop in real life.Seriously.Look how ridiculous that is.Oh, ha ha.He’s got your party…down there.Oh man, he wants to invite King Kong Bundy to a homoerotic encounter.
Sick.
Burn.
And what caused all the brouhaha?The Bad Guy did not appreciate one of the jokes, and if you can believe this, it was over a joke that wasn’t about him!The pariah, the paragon of virtue that graced the world with “Hey, yo…” got upset over the following “Roundboy” Jimmy Graham (who?) guffaw:
After the Sheik and Hacksaw Jim got caught sniffing coke in the parking lot, his (The Iron Shiek) career fell faster than Owen Hart
LOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!1111BBQshiftoneone11!!
We have two rules here at LoL, Wresslin'.Be funny and don’t be unfunny.And honestly?That joke’s pretty funny.Tasteless?You bet. But it’s not a bad joke.We can see the case being made that Owen died of a tragic accident, and not through steroid abuse that led to him hanging himself via weight machine, so perhaps it’s not fair.Scott Hall may have loved Owen Hart, and that joke brought back some hard memories.Maybe he’s justified in his reaction.
Or maybe he’s just a man with a problem who can’t take responsibility for things in his life and needs to learn some inner strength to let things go.
Our final take is that it was a comedy roast of the Iron Shiek (why?), and jokes like this are to be expected.We would have liked to have heard the joke and the crowd reaction to it, and we’d have liked to hear some of the other jokes as well.Was this the worst one of the night?Were there Chris Benoit jokes?What is off limits to talk about for these old guards of kayfabe?
When reached for comment Adam stated “Of course this happened in central New Jersey.I swear, the beach areas I’m from are cool.”
We don't have the energy anymore.
UPDATE: More information coming out about Chico's weekend off Exit 8A:
Adam, a native of the Garden State, and Matt, a proud Texan, crossed paths at university. They discovered they're both really into very silly things. Contact them at lolwresslin@gmail.com
Yeah, YOUR seat 
We're predictable. We know.
Down, mostly.
