R U READY TO DOWN SOME SMACK??? Stunned Contendors

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

This Sunday is TNA's Genesis PPV. How does this relate to Smackdown? IT DOESN'T! Don't worry about how fat Scott Hall is, because there's some smack to down? Are you ready?

First up was "Team Black Guys in Jeans" vs "Team White Canadians in Underwear" in a six-man tag. And it was pretty good!

(l-r) can't dunk, can dunk

Of course, this is a match MONTHS in the making. Jericho previously feuded with Cryme Tyme over the summer (Shad even picked up a singles win) and the CT are currently feuding with the Harts. And R-Truth..well he's a black guy...so he's there too! Of course that doesn't mean the interns are allowed to mail it in.

Ahem, interns. When the knee is in the back, it is called the "Liontamer." No knee is the Walls. DUH!

That was enough for the win. Even the interns can't shy away from the greatness of the winners.



Wow, did all that training in the Hart Dungeon really pay off? Really?

Yea, I went there. Get over it.

Sometimes wrestling can get a little talky. That time is when CM Punk comes out. Usually he just speaks about how great he is, but today he was talking about how great you can be. Or more specifically, some kid from s>developmental the audience.

Just kiss and get it over with already!

The kid decided to pledge his life to straight edge and that entailed shaving his head. Yes, the most embarrassing thing anyone can ever do in wrestling! Losing hair! Unless of course your Stone Cold Steve Austin, Goldberg, The Rock, Randy Orton, or any other successful person who is bald. But hey, you can tell Hogan and Michaels aren't happy about losing their hair!

I hope they didn't offer you a call up for this, dude. Because soon you'll be released AND be bald.

A gentleman's hairdo

Also, Luke Gallows was with Punk and he decided to hang out afterwards and wrestle Matt Hardy. The interns could hardly contain their excitement.

Should that be capitalized?

Anyone else see the irony in the fact that Matt's brother (known drug user/ possible felon Jeff Hardy) signed with WWE's main competitor, TNA, and now Matt is being beaten up by the wrestlers who don't do any drugs.

Get used to eating leather, Matty. Soon that's about the quality of meat you'll have to buy when they release you for Jeff's indiscretions.

Finally, last week (two weeks ago!) Rey Mysterio cost Batista a world title match in the beat the clock challenge. Thus, the two of them would have to fuck fight for their right to wrestle the Undertaker at the Royal Rumble. This match was so awesome that even the interns were on the top of their game.

Ok, that was a good one.

That's not to say that everything was spot on.

Yea...sometimes wrestling is fake...

This match went through numerous powerbomb and phone call related spots until just about the 10 o'clock hour when ALL OF A SUDDEN THE UNDERTAKER HIT A GONG AND TURNED ON A SMOKE MACHINE! WHY? NO IDEA!

Something strange going on!?! OH NO! Must be a no contest!

Yes, so we're going for this match one more time. Batista/Rey Mysterio...IN A CAGE! TRY AND CAGE TEH ANIMALE!!!



Watch Smackdown tonight to forget about the British Invasion being dropped down the card! It's a 8/7 central! On one of those Network Channels. Or some whenever over on hulu.com (if you can get past all the Conan drama)!

R U READY TO DOWN SOME SMACK??? Photo essay

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

The following is last week's Smackdown done entirely in pictures (and a few jokes thrown in for good measure!)

Eight Man Tag- R-Truth/Finlay/Matt Hardy/John Morrison vs CM Punk/Dolph Ziggler/Luke Gallows/Drew McIntyre

That's Dolph Ziggler on the right

That's Dolph Ziggler getting pinned (as he's wont to do)

(l-r) Chest hair, fat, tummy ache

World Title Match- Rey Mysterio vs The Undertaker

He walked alone for miles to get into that pit of Undertaker

I'm sure that'll be enough, ref.

Unified Tag Team Title Match- The Hart Dynasty vs DX (or how I learned to love the WWE.com interns forever)

In case there was every any doubt that this Monday's Raw had anything to do with the Hart Dynasty's recent push...

That's the usual scientific method for debunking theories

The Anvil is a known DX deterrent

First Hulk Hogan joins TNA, now we have months of "Hart" puns. Lord, will we ever run out of things to write about?

It's funny because Shawn is a Born Again...

Photo 26: Dynasty on the offensive..

Photo 27: DX wins. Also, if it was so awesome, HOW ABOUT SHOWING US, INTERNS?!?!

If I picture is worth a thousand words, than you just got a 15,000 word article! Lucky you!

Smackdown. Tonight 8/7c. MyNetwork TV. Or if you're like me and live in a Time Warner building, you're probably going to lose that channel, so watch it on Hulu.com!

R U READY TO DOWN SOME SMACK??? Family Reunion

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

This Sunday marks the biggest party of the summer, Summerslam! Normally one of the "Big 4" PPV's, this year's event sort of reeks of "last minute science project." WWE has haphazardly thrown together the card so much that I honestly feel that if they can't do the effort, why should I? So thus, Dolph Ziggler did something to show he's ready for Rey Mysterio and KANE beat up Ranjan Singh, who it turns out is The Great Khali's brother.



No, let's concentrate on the big ticket matches at Summerslam. First off, CM Punk is in a world title TLC match. So what better way to prepare for this match then taking on the man he never beats, John Morrison!

Melina?

Anyway, shock of all shocks, WWE booked a heel in a credible fashion! Punk actually won the match! And not by cheating or nuthin! Just won a hard fought match where both competitors looked strong.

Morrison must be a big fan of Wrestlegasm's "Crotch Watch"

There's a tag title match between Jericho/Big Show and Cryme Tyme. Big Show took on JTG to avenge Jericho's loss last week. It went kinda like this:

It's very subtle

Finally, WWE did the most original booking ever and had their top baby face take on two heels in a handicap match! Wow, what a freaking surprise.

"Are handicap matches so over done they're putting you to sleep, Jeff?"

"Naw man. I was just mixxing alchol with muscle relaxers."

Of course, the heels in this particular main event were the Hart Dynasty, because they are Canadian and Smackdown was in Edmonton last week. They are, of course from Calgary, a neighboring town which has nothing but love for their Alberta brethren.

Right...

Still, Jeff Hardy is no John Cena, and thus could not fend off two men who are in peak physical condition. Maybe he'd of done alright if he had 45 year-old Shane McMahon in his corner?

If you get this go kill yourself.

No you fool! Only throw Brett Favre off of the top rope!

And the Canadian fans are very proud of their country men following the script.

So that should of been it, but it wasn't! Those super bad Harts started beating some sense into the drug addict, when the other drug addict top face came out to save the day! And what did he get for his troubles? A chair in the back from CM Punk!

"Perhaps you didn't get the memo. Canada is bizzaro land, so chairs are used for HITTING!"

Now done with Morrison, Punk then turned his attention to Jeff Hardy to finish what he started last week.


When...MATT HARDY(!) came out to save the day! But he used to hate his brother! What changed?

"My brother is leaving for a few months so he can get high and Smackdown needs new baby faces?"

Hmm, I guess we'll find out tonight as we go home to Summerslam! 8/7c, MyNetwork TV, or anytime on hulu.com!

R U READY TO DOWN SOME SMACK??? Eye for an Eye

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

Well if Matt can do it, so can I! Lightning round (because today is a travel day for me)!

This week's recap begins with the Hart Dynasty. They're recent additions to the Smackdown roster, coming over from ECW in some trade Donald Trump created, for some reason. We really never mentioned it like we wanted to, because somebody let in Yoko. Anyway, they wrestled Cryme Tyme who haven't won a wrestling match since the Bush administration.

One Big Ass Mistake, America

As we've learned from countless 80's movies, legacy and fancy schools can only get you so far. Sure, the Hart Dynasty have pro wrestling in their blood. Who cares? Cryme Tyme are from the streets! What they lack in....everything they make up for in sass and raw physical talent.

This was literally about all the offense Cryme Tyme got in

Rey Mysterio is coming off a career revitalizing feud with Chris Jericho which also elevated the Intercontinental Title. So how does he get rewarded for all his hard work? With a one on one match against Kane.


So yea, months of competitive matches lead to another big man squashing the little guy. All of Rey's offense was blocked.

Ahh..Rey's comeback...

...Crap!

He even hit the 619! But all that did was somehow lead to a chokeslam by Kane and a clean pin. And then The Great Khali came out. So from second hottest feud in WWE to background player in Kane/Khali feud. Gross.

Double crap!

And in the main event, the unified tag team champions Edge and Chris Jericho took on bitter rivals CM Punk and Jeff Hardy (tension!)! And better not get used to seeing Edge and Jericho as champs, since Edge tore his ACL a few days later. He's kind of like Smackdown's Batista. Wins world titles, gets hurt a lot, and breaks up wrestler relationships by cheating on his friend's girl.

At least they wear the belts like champions...

...unlike some other losers.

CM Punk's been having a little twouble wit his eyzee wyzee, as he missed Jeff Hardy's tag attempt.

"It's like there's a straight edge in my eye!"

So what's the big drug addict do (Punk's words, not mine)? He fakes an eye injury allowing Edge to speak CM Punk! What a jerk! I guess he doesn't care about winning matches, now does he? I know I wouldn't want that dude representing me as champion.



Let's see what yarns Jeff Hardy spins tonight. 8/7c on MyNetwork TV (and hulu.com!)