Another big DVDA! (DVD Article)

There aren't many things better than a WWE DVD release. The amount of entertainment packed into those one to three discs is unparalleled in the DVD world. Imagine our surprise when we found out there's a bevy of new possibilities for an upcoming release.

WWE sent out a survey to help determine what this DVD collection would cover. Now, we have a few ideas of our own ("Best of Blondes" anyone?), but let's take a look at what we might encounted in the "Special Interests" section of the local Best Buy pretty soon:

Best of the Elimination Chamber - Apparently there have been nine of these things, so we guess it seems slightly reasonable to have a "best of" already. But just throw all the matches on a DVD and call it day, how about?

Chris Jericho - Oh yes, now this looks good. Jericho certainly deserves one, seeing as how WWE has never released an official Lionheart DVD. Just in case this survey doesn't turn out the way we want, an online petition has been started to make sure that WWE does what we want. There were 112 signatures when we checked; you can add another to that total, Jericholics. And we totally agree, Brittani (call us?)

113.	Adam and Matt, The LOL, Wresslin' Laugh Twins	save_us.222 already!
112.	Brittani	He is one of the best preformers in the company. He puts on some of the greatest matches. If they can out with a dvd I would absolutly watch it.
111.	William Thompson	Y2J!!!!!

Craziest Moments in WWE History - We're not sure how this would differ from "WWE's Funniest Moments," but surely something crazy has happened since 2001 to add to that collection.

Ricky Steamboat - This should be on that "craziest moments" DVD, because it's insanity that Steamboat doesn't have his own compilation out yet. Sure, all the WWE fans forgot he existed until Wrestlemania 25, but that shouldn't stop them from honoring the man.

Sting - And another one that needs some love. Despite that the man works for TNA (that's right Kurt Angle and Jeff Jarrett - it's called work), Sting has had nothing short of a legendary career. We guess you could wait until he gets tired of embarrassing himself.

Raw: Season 1 - What a cool trip down memory lane that would be. Don't forget to blur out those "WWF" logos!

John Morrison - Wait, what?

That's right, they're considering making a John Morrison DVD. Before you throw your hands up and think that WWE is off their rockers, let's think about this for a minute.

He's a Tough Enough winner, and we all know how much of an impact they have made on the WWE...




At least he's still employed, so that's an accomplishment.

He has a wide-ranging personality and can fit into a number of on-screen characters. Heck, in his first month on WWE television, he had three different names!

He was also a member of the tag team MNM, which gave us this:


He then went to ECW, and finally became the John Morrison we know today, and after winning their championship, decided to take on another partner, which led to this:


Ummm, you know (tm), on second thought WWE, maybe you should just forget that guy.

R U READY TO DOWN SOME SMACK??? Whiplash

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

Wrestlemania! A draft! Backlash? There's way too much going on lately! Case in point, so much went on last Sunday that Matt didn't know what to cover and what not to cover, so basically, I'm picking up the rest of his slack.

To open up, new Smackdown star Chris Jericho has continued his crusade against the elderly. He took on Ricky Steamboat in a one on one match.



Yes, clearly this will be a competitive match, because it's not like Jericho didn't beat Steamboat, Jimmy Snuka, Roddy Piper, and then beat the holy hell out of Ric Flair ALL IN THE SAME NIGHT! Yup, ole Ricky has a great shot against a man in the prime of his career. Yessir.

Hold #489: Armbar

Wow, that looks like it hurts. Still, none of that really ever matters since the old man eventually fell and couldn't get up. The Walls of Jericho were dutifully applied.

Above: Crappier band then Fozzy

Er....

Above: Crappier finisher then Mr. Socko

"You can't lock me in my room like I'm some sort of Manimal, Dad! My name's Doug. I'm outta heeeerrrrree"

In other matches, Mr. Money in the Bank, CM Punk took on Kane for no discernible reason.


B-b-b-ut Kane is so much bigger then Punk! Punk doesn't stand a chance, despite being a former triple crown winner and an ECW champion!


Yea, that's pretty much how it went. For some reason, a man being poised as the next #1 contender is pinned by all-around good egg Kane. Sort of ironic that his theme music says "Even through the darkest days/this fire burns/always." Get it? Fire? Kane? Wocka wocka!


Finally, a world title bout. John Cena (yay!) of Raw (boo!) is defending against Edge (boo!) of Smackdown (yay!) in what is known as a Last Man Standing match. Essentially, no rules, with the winner decided by knocking his opponent out. Why someone doesn't bring a gun (or hire Cryme Tyme) is beyond me, but I guess even the most dastardly of heels is sort of honorable.

"you dead dawg"

Anyway, this was the back and forth contest that we'd expect, with both Edge and Cena throwing out exciting offense like a sleeper hold and a "You Can't See Me"

Above: Excitement

Also, I'm running the next picture because WWE.com are very dumb with their picture captions.

We can clearly see his face. That means the steel is not hitting it.

Eventually the match went outside the ring and John Cena gave an F-...er Attitude Adjuster (?) to Edge INTO THE MONDAY-TO-FRIDAY CROWD!


Still, Cena's finisher may be strong enough to get a 3 count, but definitely not strong enough for a 10 count. And since they were outside already, why not fight on the ramp?

Cena: "I can think of one"

All was fine and good with chairs being thrown around and Edge frothing at the mouth, when all of a sudden, Edge's wife's love, The Big Show, came out for no discernible reason and threw John Cena into a light fixture.

Kind of like the last scene of The Dark Knight but not

And then it exploded, like so many Vince McMahon accidents before hand! John Cena must be dead!

The burns alone should make him act like Kane for the rest of his career.

Obviously Edge won the match because of Mr. Cena's demise, but seriously, why would Big Show help Edge? They are vying over the same woman, sure, but let's speak strictly career here. Edge is on Smackdown, Cena (the champ at the time) is on Raw, in addition to WWE champion HHH. The Big Show was just drafted to Raw too. Wouldn't you want to be on the brand with TWO world titles? Wouldn't that exponentially benefit your career? Even if you hate John Cena, it make sense to steer clear this time.

Oh well, WRESSLIN'!

Also, I usually like to close with a shot of the champ, and I'm going to do that now. Because Christian won the ECW title!

Instantly Classic

Yea boy, brothers E&C have all the gold again! Err...in Chrisitan's case I guess it's more like 46 lbs of silver, but you know what I mean. ECW doesn't deserve gold anyways.

Come see all the fun that's happening in Madison Square Garden. The world's most famous arena! 8/7 c, MyNetwork TV!

OH BABY, I like it Raw! Bringing in the big guns

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

For a them song to accompany this post, please press play and enjoy...



The night after Wrestlemania 25! What magical presents were in store for us? Let's find out!

We start the night with Randy Orton, fresh off a stinging loss to Triple H for the WWE Championship. As Orton told us how much that totally sucked, Mr. McMahon came out and ruined a perfectly legit temper tantrum. McMahon took the opportunity to remind us that he was indeed running the company and could do what he wanted by setting not only a six-man Backlash match with Legacy versus Triple H and the McMahons, but also that night's main event to be himself versus Randy Orton.


As if the first time around wasn't good enough, we have another lumberjack match with the Colons (he he he) and Miz & Morisson competing for the tag team titles. Oh wait, the first time wasn't good enough, because it got bumped from the schedule at Wrestlemania. But this time it's WAAAAY different because it's not a title unification match. No, this time it's the same people fighting for the unified tag championship. Well, when you put it that way, I'm definitely going to sit this one out.

I thought his last name was "Cool."

Primo and Carlito won again, and this time they got to do it on TV, so that's cool. Good job WWE, because you know what happens to people who don't want to be cool.


The one match that DID make it onto the Wrestlemania PPV was the Diva battle royale, and we have a few of the competitors in tag action tonight. You know why I even mention women's matches these days. Good guys won. Weeeee.

Oh, you better not be good...

One of the feel-good moments from Wrestlemania was getting to see Ricky Steamboat go out and tear the place down one more time against Chris Jericho. No one was expecting anything out of the Legends in that match, and Steamboat proved that at least one old-timer could still hang with the best in the industry. So how is the WWE supposed to capitalize off of those good feelings created on Sunday?

Trot his old ass out there again to wrestle some more, damn it!


This was a "whomever wrestled last night" match, featuring someone from just about every match on the card. But Steamboat was left in the ring, fighting off heel after heel as they tagged in, and the crowd cheered for this old man to please just not have a heart attack while they were watching.

All the heel tactics were for nothing though, as eventually Rey Mysterio was able to set up both Edge and Chris Jericho for a double 619 to end the match. Seriously??

"How'd we both end up here?"

Raw is now treated to a little gift from SmackDown, as it's announced that Vickie Guerrero will now be the permanent GM of Monday Nights. Oh, THAT'S going to get to watch even more.

More like SnackDown, am I right?

She said that Mr. Cena would face Edge for the World Heavyweight Championship in a Last Man Standing match at Backlash. Glad to see her new responsibilities have curbed her nepotism a bit. Also, with regard to the big six-man tag match announced earlier, if any member of Legacy wins the match, the WWE Championship goes to Orton. Even if it were a thrilling finish like Cody Rhodes pinning Shane McMahon.

LOLWUT?

What a stupid stipulation. Thanks Vickie. Allow me a moment to applaud you.


The new Miss Wrestlemania Santina beat Beth Phoenix.

You all know that's Santino, right??

Finally, things turn out for Mr. McMahon pretty much how they should this time, as Randy starts to beat the living crap out of him. And then Shane comes down to help, but he gets the crap beat out of him too, with a little help from Legacy. And then Trips comes down, obviously tired from the previous night's win and post-party, because he gets beat up as well. O noes! The good guys are all getting pummelled! Who will possibly save them??

Wait...what's that I hear? Is that a roaring from backstage? No. No, it couldn't be! But it is!!!


THE ANIMAL IS BACK THE ANIMAL IS BACK THE ANIMAL IS BACK!!!!

THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING RAW IN THE HISTORY OF TELEVISION HISTORY!!! AND TONIGHT IS THE DRAFT, SO MAYBE BATISTA WILL BE DRAFTED TO RAW!!!! USA, SPECIAL THREE-HOUR SHOW STARTING AT 8/7c!!!!!!!

RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWRRRR!!!

The Granddaddy of them all! Jericho defeats legends; brawls with Rourke

Wrestlemania was last night, so rather then have one "Oh Baby I like it RAW!" updating the entire night we're going to periodically update the blog today, highlighting each match with its own post. We will follow the order of the show.

Chris Jericho vs "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, "Super Fly" Jimmy Snuka, and Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat with Ric Flair in their corner in an elimination handicap match.

For a theme song to accompany this post, please press play and enjoy...



You know who didn't like The Wrestler? Certainly not us. We loved it! Chris Jericho didn't like it. He thought it was paying homage to old broken down horses when all the emphasis should be on him, Chris Jericho! Ooo..what a young punk! Anyway, the very recent world heavyweight champion took on these three specimens.

Piper and Snuka should never be allies.

And it doesn't get much better then that. Look at this elevation:

FAIL

Or what about this Superfly tamer old Lionheart locked in:

He may be able to hook a hooka, but Jericho can hook a Snuka.

And although in fantastic shape for an old-ass man (hell, even a young-ass man), even The Dragon's boat ran out of steam.


So you probably think that's it. Jericho proved his point and beat up a few octogenarians. Well, YOU'D BE WRONG! Ric Flair brought in his secret weapon, star of The Wrestler Randy "The Ram" Robinson!

Umm...Rammy looks a little small there..

Err... we meant Mickey Rourke. Still, he used to be a professional boxer, so don't count him ou-

"If you've ever seen something sad that rhymes with 'me' then you've seen me"

Take that, you Canadian jackass! Come on Ric, let's go ahead and dance the night away!

Nice hat, shit dick.

Next up: Matt Hardy vs Jeff Hardy