New Year's Resolutions

You may remember that last year we Laugh Twins made some promises for the coming year. We'd like to think that we achieved our goals. We spell checked. We were nicer (Blog War and all), and our photoshop got a little better.

Of course, we feel we may have failed on one.

We will always LOL at Wresslin'.

The last few weeks we haven't always LOL'ed @ some wresslin. There was Adam's disgust at a live event. There have been a few missed posts (the first such in the blog's history). So thus, we present to you our lone resolution.

We will be better.

What does this mean exactly? Well consider 2010 the year we trim the fat. We're only going to post things we believe in now. No more "oh, it's Tuesday, gotta get something up" BS articles about Randy Orton's hog. Truth is, 2009 was a busy year for us, and 2010 is looking even busier. Sometimes real life gets in the way of our fun.

That being said, WWW is here to stay and more often than not we'll still do the Raw/Smackdown recaps, just because making the pictures if fun. Still, they're a week old, so sometimes it just won't make the cut. So things aren't going to be that different.

Also, to make this up to you, we'll try to TweetNA more often. Also, Adam may actually get a headset and set up a Skype account, so maybe, just maybe, we can do another podcast.

Expect an RUR2DSS??? later today.

Happy New Year!
Adam and Matt

W.W.W. featuring RVD and Jay Lethal

On Wednesdays, we here at LOL, Wresslin' like to really pull out the stops and offer up a double shot of righteously killer content. Why Wednesday? Well, we could impress you with market research, work habit studies, and human psychology tendencies to show you there's a scientific reason the middle of the week is the best time to bring your A-game. However, truth be told, we don't have any of that stuff and settled on Wednesday because that was the only day that didn't have any content scheduled.

So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays," the ORIGINAL wrestling-themed, YouTube video comedic co-commentary. Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.

Better at naming stuff than us.

The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your poorly-edited explanation of Chris Jericho's "Save.Us" promos ain't going to fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.

After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.

Adam's video to Matt - Rob Van Dam and Booker T's Rocking New Year's Eve



Matt's response...

You know what I like about RVD? Well, first, I'll tell you that there's not too many things I like about him, period. His wrestling, while athletic and daring, is mostly stale, and he's in the bottom one percent for mic skills. Seriously, I think the Great Khali is better, and the most that he's said is screaming incoherently at telephones. I don't find him an entertaining character in the least, but other people do, and I think that those other people are stupid.

However, I'll tell you what I do like about him, and that's that he doesn't give a shit. RVD's job is to wrestle, and he's lost that job in the past because of his frequent, and public, drug use. Despite this, his user name on YouTube is "RVDTV420." 420, really? You know who celebrates 420, RVD? College students and the unemployed.

Let me amend that. Those are not the only people who celebrate 420; those are just the only people that it's somewhat acceptable that they should celebrate it.

Oh, and heads of state.

Here's another thing: this is a New Year's Eve video, presumably shot on New Year's Eve, and directly relevant to New Year's Eve. When did RVD think it was appropriate to post this 47 second descent into a pot-fueled madness? June 1st, 2009. Somehow, we're more timely than he is.

Also, where the hell is the Masterpiece? What has he got better to do? Why wouldn't you want to hang out with a bunch of guys who indulge you and actually refer to you as "The Masterpiece"?

Speaking of the Masterpiece, while "researching" this article, I came across the unofficial Chris Masters website, the banner of which informs me that Masters had sexual intercourse with my mother. I'm not sure how this fellow who runs the site would have that sort of information, but I'm just going to assume it's validity. MASTERBURN~! ONLINE also says that the Masterpiece hates HBO television series, and his penis is desired by no less than eight "hot" celebrities, such as Tara Reid, Alanis Morrisette, and Shannon Elizabeth.

This site is either the greatest true fan page in history, or a well-crafted satire, and I wish that somehow it's both, because it's genius on either level. For instance, we're given the definition of Masterglitter:

Masters's robe is made of glitter. When Masters takes the robe off, you can see bits of glitter on his awesome shoulders. That my friends, is Masterglitter.

He also gives us a few Masterburns, meaning times when Chris Masters totally put someone in their place, such as:

"Go ahead and have a seat, sir."

and...

"I got this one-way ticket to anywhere in the United States, because let's face it, anywhere is better than being in Omaha, Nebraska."

Well, RVD, Chris Masters didn't show up to your NYE party, so you might as well consider yourself Masterburned. Face! Masterface!

Matt's video to Adam- Black Machismo Jay Lethal Interview



Adam's response...

The video game TNA Impact! was released on September 9th, 2008. MikeReganGR (the interviewer in the video) decided to post this video to Youtube.



Listen, I can't blame him for keeping this one on the shelf for a while; it's pretty terrible. First off, his mic is WAY too hot. Second, he's a fat mess who should be....well something rather than seen. I mean, how could we miss something THAT huge, but you catch my drift.



Of course, Mr. Regan is not the only not-ready-for-prime-time player. No, Mr. Lethal is pretty terrible as well. Here are his first few words:

"Well....uhhh...so faruh...we've doneuh, um, the motion capture. Mo-cap is what they call it. "

Things noticeably pick up when discussion turns to The Machoman Randy Savage. And why shouldn't it? The Machoman is the best thing to ever happen to professional wrestling. Not Hogan. Not Bret. Not even LOL, Wresslin. Nope, it's Macho.

Seriously, in addition to being a former world champion, thespian, and Slim Jim endorser, he's also a master rapper. You know (tm) this. This is also why we here love Jay Lethal.

Yes, Mr Lethal is one of the 3,000 crazies who actually own Be a Man. I can send Jay Lethal a text message (we're both from New Jersey, natch) that says "Solemn Piano" and he will text me back "In today's news, Macho Man Randy Savage has signed a recording contract with Big 3 Records as a rap artist." Be a Man is a bond thicker then blood.

Also, Jay Lethal says he's not good at rapping, which is stupid because he's black.

Also stupid: Christopher Daniels cutting a promo to a venue that no one will ever see.

Even more stupid: Lethal saying that Hogan should "be a man." He's your boss now, dude.

Although that never stopped one guy

Happy New Year: We'll be better this time

SEASON'S BEATINGS!


Oh yes, the new year. 2009. Not even a day into it, and still there's so much promise. So much to do, so much to improve. The new year marks new beginnings and a fresh start on life. A chance to reboot the old head computer and a install a new operating system, with fresh new programs that work a lot better than the old ones; and while you're at it, go ahead and upgrade your video card, because we all know there's going to be some sort of killer game that just won't run with your old hardware. Unless of course you game on a home console, and then that part of the analogy means dick to you.

Where were we?

Right, New Year's Day. Almost as obligatory as getting plowed on New Year's Eve and making out with your best friend's girlfriend or possibly your best friend, is waking up the next day and saying, "I'm never doing that again." Thus we have New Year's resolutions - those self-imposed mandates to live a better life, and at which we can look 364 days from now and realize how big of a failure we are.

LOL, Wresslin' may seem like an enigmatic, face-less Internet site that spews mounds and mounds of comedy and contempt on a daily basis, but we assure you there are two real people behind the scenes. Two people just like you (OK, maybe not JUST like you; we're better than you). Seeing as how no matter how perfect someone is, they can always be perfecter, we've decided to put together a list of New Year's resolutions that we will stand by in this, the ninth year after the world ended in 2000.

We will spellcheck.

Sometimes this ceaseless stream of consciousness comes at a price: accuracy. Now, it should be obvious that part of our gimmick is playing on the ubiquitous Internet meme of LOLcats, which forces us to misspell things occasionally.

And sometimes be completely inscrutable

But that doesn't mean our writing has to mirror that. Even though the kind folks at Google have thought to include a spellchecker on Blogger, our spelling occasionally is so terrible, the computer assumes we're typing in a different language and ignores it completely. There's nothing to match the human eye, so we will implement a technique used by actual writers: proofreading.

We will give the other brands a chance.

You may have already noticed that this blog is WWE-centric. And if you haven't noticed that yet, welcome to LOL, Wresslin'!

The few times we've even mentioned the competing brands (TNA, and some other combinations of letters), it's with disdain and an air of superiority. So this year, we will put away the unfounded hate and commit to write about (and possibly even watch!) some of the various wrestling programs that aren't put on by the WWE. That is, until we really do hate them.

We will improve our photoshop skills.

The mark of a good website is the ability to manipulate well-known images into something that better suits the purpose of the article, or something that is simply very funny. We lack that ability. Every now and again, we will enlist the help of our friend Brian to do some work for us. The difference between his photoshopping and ours is stark and, quite frankly, embarrassing.

Made by Brian:

Awesome!

Made by us:

Seriously?

So we'll do our best to get better at the whole photo manipulation thing, or just get Brian to do stuff for us and claim it as ours.

We will get rowdy.

Not sure what all this will entail, but we do know we were not fortunate enough to be that way before it was cool. Now that "rowdy" is apparently cool, we're a little behind the times, and in 2009, that will change. From henceforth, the Laugh Twins are rowdy. If you are in a bar and some patron remarks, "That fella over there at the pinball table sure is getting rowdy," chances are you're in the same bar as one of us. Congratulations. Buy us a drink, and maybe we'll get rowdy with you.

We will be nicer.

Sure, we seem heartless, but there are times when we sometimes hover over the "Publish Post" button and think, "Is this too mean?" Then we just press it anyway, and laugh all the way to the bank. Not that we're getting paid for this - we just needed to deposit the unemployment check. But in 2009, we'd like to consider the feelings of others. We know that the wrestlers we make fun of are public figures, probably don't read this, and deserve it anyway, but they just might wander to this corner of the interwebs and really get their feelings hurt. So, from this point forward, we will make a concerted effort to rein in the vitriol and maybe even add something positive to the online community.

Eh, never mind.

We will always LOL at Wresslin'.

Pretty much the entire reason this blog exists. Not that we didn't do this before now, but we are reaffirming to ourselves that whatever changes our lives see, wherever we may be led, and whatever may happen to our little slice of the Internet pie, we will always find something to laugh about in professional wrestling. We hope you join us, and if you do, WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE A COMMENT ABOUT IT, YOU NON-CONTRIBUTING MASS OF HUMAN FAT?