LOLZ SRSLY??

There's a school of thought that you don't blow your load early, because then you won't have anything left later. The Spiderman game on Nintendo64/Playstation did this, as its roster of villains included Venom, Dr Octopus, Carnage, The Lizard, Rhino, and Mysterio, with guest appearances from the likes of Marvel A-Listers Daredevil, Punisher, and Captain America. Activision, clearly thinking there would never be a sequel, went for the most balls to the wall Spiderman game ever. Of course it sold great, so a sequel was made. What did that game have? Hammerhead, Beetle, an out of control bi-plane, and Electro as the main villain.



Which brings us to a relevant wrestling topic: The WWE Hall of Fame. The ceremony is coming up soon and it's always nice to honor the past. Except when it's not. It's kind of a joke, isn't it? And not because it's a hall for professional wrestling. Just the sheer amount of inductees in it. Here's a complete list. In 2004, the first year the Hall of Fame was brought back after an eight year hiatus, there were eleven inductees. Subsequent years have leveled off at seven, but let's compare that to major sports. The baseball hall of fame averages out to about four inductees a year, and the hockey hall of fame caps the induction off at four players a year. But these are organizations with a hundred years of history and a much larger talent pool to pick their legendary performers from. Four players out of the hundreds in the big leagues during a player's tenure is a far way off from seven personalities from realistically, two hundred people at most signed under a national wrestling contract. So although everyone enshrined in the WWE Hall of Fame is certainly hall worthy (this year's class of Stone Cold Steve Austin, Ricky Steamboat, and The Funks are all no brainers), the overloading is leaving the WWE scrambling to fill their Hall of Fame undercard.

Yes, the rumors are true. Koko B. Ware is going to be in the hall of fame.

Above: A Laugh Twin on Earth 49 (Parrot World)

He of Quizno's ticket sales will be joining the sacred (?) fraternity populated by the likes of Nature Boy Ric Flair, Nature Boy Buddy Rogers, and American Dream Dusty Rhodes. And we're not crapping on Koko because he wore ugly suspenders or carried a parrot to the ring that will surely outlive him.

(Side note: Is the reason the Hall of Fame so overpopulated due to wrestler mortality rates? Does Vince want to guarantee an attendance from these men, so he prematurely books them ASAP?)



Seriously though, we're not crapping on Koko. He is a perfectly fine mid-carder. He was good in the ring, had a good song on the 1987 WWF album, but he's not legendary. He's not worthy of the fame. Let's look at the accomplishments of his fellow classmates:

• Stone Cold Steve Austin- Six time WWF World Champion, two time WWF Intercontinental Champion, 1996 King of the Ring, three time Royal Rumble winner, two time WCW US Champion, sold SO much merchandise.
• Ricky Steamboat- one time NWA World Champion, four time NWA US champion, one time WWF Intercontinental Champion.
• Funks- combined two time NWA World Champions, one time WWF tag team champions, two time ECW champions, and won dozens of tag titles together.
• Koko B. Ware- Held several regional NWA titles.

Now, like we said. Holding several regional NWA titles is a nice career. But this isn't in the same realm. It just isn't. Still, it's not the Birdman's fault. He was bestowed with this honor and accepted it with grace. We can't all have the integrity of Mr. T. But since the WWE Hall of Fame inducted so many people so early what we're stuck with is Koko B Ware being the midcarder at a legitmate legends night. Thus, we here at LOL, Wresslin' are calling it. Marty Janetty for HOF '10!

We're just sayin'....

One of the things that LOL, Wresslin' loves is shrugging responsibility. There's this thing about blogs that allows you to say whatever you want and never really have to accept any consequences. Isn't technology great?

But what's even better than doing it online is doing it directly to someone's face. The brashness of completely running someone down and then simply saying, "Eh, whatevs." A great way to pull this move off is to preface whatever you're about to say with "with all due respect." Then you can go ahead and be as insulting as humanly possible.

"With all due respect, your girlfriend probably bangs horses on the internet."

Closely related to "with all due respect" is the tag line "I'm just sayin'." This one works even better, because you can throw it in anywhere it's needed after the fact. Let's say you call someone's kid as ugly as the back end of a baboon. Some might take offense to that, and if they do, you can just go, "I'm just sayin'." You're in the clear! There's no way for them to get mad at you now, because you were just sayin'.

It's one thing that's been missing in the wrestling world. Everyone just goes out and says whatever they want about whomever they want, and they end up getting their asses beat at the end of it all. If only someone had the intelligence to dismiss responsibility for anything they said, they'd be free and clear!

Which is why we have some truly awesome news to report. Well, it's not really news, since it's been going on for a couple months, but we're slow to get around to things sometimes. Also, we have to have a large file of evidence if we are to bestow an honor on a certain individual.

Hurricane Helms is making a comeback to Smackdown! That's right, not mild-mannered Gregory Helms, and not the friendly and helpful Hurricane we remember, but tough-ass, big attitude Hurricane Helms. He does, however, have one thing in common with his old superhero personality: he makes everything resemble the word "hurricane." Therefore we are treated to the Hurrapop. At any point during the show, Helms' face will appear and drop a bit of knowledge on the audience.

These are insulting for the most part, but not much due to their overwhelming cheeziness. That's another thing that LOL, Wresslin' gives major props to - unadultered camp. See for yourself...

















He also seems to have a favorite target in MVP, and that just makes him more badass with us.


So let's count it up: funny, campy name, cheesy insults, doesn't like MVP, and shrugs off responsibility. What do all of those add up to?

THE LOL, WRESSLIN' SEAL OF AWESOMENESS.


That's right, Charlie. You have company. But it's ok, because each show deserves an award. Now if ECW would only do something that resembled anything but suck.

Congratulations, Hurricane Helms! Now don't screw it up when you actually start to wrestle. We gave it to you, we can take it back. Don't let that keep you up at night!

We're just sayin'.