Showing posts with label Jake Roberts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jake Roberts. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

W.W.W. featuring Jake "The Snake" Roberts and Jeff Hardy vs D'Lo Brown

On Wednesdays, we here at LOL, Wresslin' like to really pull out the stops and offer up a double shot of righteously killer content. Why Wednesday? Well, we could impress you with market research, work habit studies, and human psychology tendencies to show you there's a scientific reason the middle of the week is the best time to bring your A-game. However, truth be told, we don't have any of that stuff and settled on Wednesday because that was the only day that didn't have any content scheduled.

So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays," the ORIGINAL wrestling-themed, YouTube video comedic co-commentary. Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.

Better at naming stuff than us.

The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your insider picks for a fantasy wrestling league ain't going to fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.

After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.


Adam's video to Matt - Jake "The Snake" Roberts Wasted! part 1 - Drunken Interview



Matt's reponse...

"A man of his word - Jake the Snake Roberts. Back to ringside." -Overwhelmed Backstage Interviewer

Ahhh, Jake. There you are. True to form as always. In those few words up there, the poor man tasked with interviewing at the Heroes of Wrestling PPV, who surely had to have had a long night up until now, pretty much says the only thing that can be said. A true hero of wrestling, that man stuck it out with a straight face and threw back to the ring in style. Kudos, my friend.

Now, as I said a moment ago, this was at a PPV event called Heroes of Wrestling, from Casino Magic in Bay St. Louis, Missouri. The idea was to bring a bunch of aging wrestlers in for a few matches and make a load of money off nostalgia; pretty much what TNA is doing now, only this was ten years ago. Only 29,000 homes purchased the event. I'm pretty sure we could generate more pay-per-view buys with video of us shirtless picking our belly button lint. The rest of the planned events were canceled, and the organizer places a lot of the blame of the failure on the shoulders on Jake.

I'll get to that more in a minute, but I want you to check out the rest of the card for that night:

  • Samu and the Samoan Savage versus Marty Jannetty and Tommy Rogers
  • Greg Valentine versus George Steele
  • Too Cold Scorpio versus Julio Fantastico
  • The Bushwackers versus the Iron Sheik and Nicolai Volkoff
  • Tully Blanchard versus Stan Lane
  • Abdullah the Butcher versus One Man Gang
  • Jimmy Snuka versus Bob Orton, Jr.
  • Jim Neidhart and King Kong Bundy versus Jake Roberts and Yokozuna

Now, it should be noted that King Kong and Bundy and Yokozuna were slated to main event, but they were called in to clean up the Roberts mess. Still, would any of those matches get you excited to buy this thing?? Even ten years ago?? I think Jake, if anything, made this event a legend, rather than destroying the show. I can guarantee some dude called his friends and said, "Man, you have to pick this up. Jake is losing his mind." That surely generated at least one more buy, because no one else was going to pick this dog of a pay-per-view up, which the "wrestling community" has dubbed the "worst of all-time."

Back to Jake. You may have noticed the "Part 1" on the video. That means, yes, there's a part 2, and yes, I'm going to show it to you. If you do anything on this site, watch this video:



This video cuts off before the match starts, at which point Jake "held his snake between his legs, representing an erect penis, and then simulated masturbation for several seconds before lying down on the mat, apparently disoriented or close to passing out." (Wikipedia) I'd like to believe that Jake was simply committed to act and once he was done simulating rubbing one out, he simulated what most guys do afterwards and took a nap. It was here that Bundy and Yokozuna were called in to "save" the match.

Some might say that Jake is familiar with gambling; you might even say that he does it every day just getting out of bed. But I think you can tell from his promo earlier in the night that he really doesn't know much about it, considering he seems not to realize that "21" and "blackjack" are the same thing, that having 22 does not benefit you in either, and that having "too many" aces and 8's really doesn't mean a damn thing. So say what you want about Roberts, at least he's not blowing his cash in the casino. GOOD JOB!


Matt's video to Adam-Jeff hardy vs D'Lo Brown Heat Match (VERY RARE)



Adam's response

It seems as if the new bit dujour round WWW is the concept of ownership for these videos. Now, we specify in the beginning that the one rule here is that a video cannot be user created, thereby inferring all ownership to the original party that broadcast it (more often then not, World Wrestling Entertainment). Still, we often see in the video description something along the lines "I don't own this, please don't remove!" We also see, as in this case, someone watermarking there own logo onto the video.

For those not in the know, watermarking is a form of Digital Rights Management (DRM). DRM is rather hot issue in the media business right now, as it is an attempt to protect intellectual property rights by punishing legal consumers. In short, DRM is a form of control software that has been expanding with the proliferation of the Internet and digital music downloads.

In addition to watermarking, DRM exists within CD's that prevent ripping, subscription models in services like Napster and Rhapsody, and unique access codes to use, sort of like playing a video game on a PC. Additionally, there are usage restrictions. Until just recently, Apple's iTunes service sold DRM song files that could only be put onto Apple's iPod music player. Essentially, to use iTunes, the world's leading music seller, you had to own Apple hardware, thereby providing a competitive disadvantage to the consumer.

Of course, this is all done for some fairly noble reasons. Afterall, artist's and IP rights holders should not be subject to end-user abuses or piracy. This also encourages the consmumer to have a responsible purchase behavior and promote artistry.



Still, it's a hot button issue because of its attitude towards the legal consumer. In addition to being a public relations nightmare, it's also fairly worthless to stop piracy. At its most basic, DRM can be circumvented through the "analog loop", which is the digital equivalent of putting two tape recorders together and pressing record on one and play on the other.

Which brings me to THEBESTJEFFFAN (TBJF to his homies on the top left and right). This is an analog loop. Look at the terrible quality in both video and sound. I can hardly tell Jeff Hardy is a drug addict (or "young daredevil" as Jerry Lawler calls him) from this video. Or who blew what spots. It's a degenerated, degraded mess thanks to years of illegal tape trading.

But that's not for me to decide. No, it's far more important for you, the humble media scholars of the LOL, Wresslin' army to make your own choices. Ponder this questions and leave a written response in the comments or email. You will be graded.

  1. Should the government become more involved in the DRM debate to regulate its use?
  2. Do corporations lose cache with their customers by using DRM on their properties? Do the benefits outweigh the negatives?
  3. Will DRM become standardized throughout the world eventually?
  4. How do you think artists feel about their creations being protected by DRM? Should it be enhanced to protect their IP?

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

LOL, Wresslin' salutes: Dixie Carter

SEASON'S BEATINGS!

It's a rare occasion that someone in the wrestling business impresses us. Mostly because we're hopelessly cynical, but also because the wrestling business is full of snakes, and not the awesome kind.

Definitely not this kind

But every now and then, someone does something that catches our attention and makes us think, "This guy's got some balls." Whether it be something downright ridiculous or an act of sheer bravado, they show that even though they're probably still a weasel, they can be pretty awesome at the same time.

TNA president Dixie Carter is one of those people.

well, aside from the whole "having balls" thing

Ms. Carter took a trip up to Capitol Hill recently as part of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform's investigation into steroid abuse in professional wrestling. Judging by the picture, and seeing as how she's from Tennessee, we'd like to think her interview went something like this:

Ms. Carter enters the room with a plate full of fried chicken, okra, and homemade cookies, which she passes around the investigating panel. Her lawyers follow her in with jugs of sweet tea. She curtsies and says, in a dainty Southern lilt, "Now, what could busy and important men such as yourselves have to ask lil' ol' me about the rasslin' business? Surely I can't be of much use, but I would ask y'all to help yourselves to seconds. Wouldn't want you to blow away, now would I?"

The House of Representatives, however, has seen fit to provide a full transcript, single-handedly destroying what would have made a great episode of The Beverly Hillbillies. It doesn't prove that didn't bring some of grandma's famous poundcake, though.

During her testimony, she seemed very open in discussing all matters of the wrestling business. Allow us to provide some choice quotes from her time in Congress. The entire transcript, as well as an overview and other interviews with people such as Vince McMahon, can be found here.

Who purchases the TNA action figures?

"...it is more in the collectible side where guys keep the toys and they keep them in their boxes and then they increase in value and things such as that...Have you seen the 40-Year-Old Virgin with that man that has all the toys?"


How does hiring Pacman Jones fit in to a more family friendly image?

"Well, you know, in this country, I believe you're innocent until proven guilty. And the last I checked, you know, most all of his incidents, several of them have been cleared during his tenure with us and even some since then."

By the way, Ms. Carter, we're expecting a check for two uses of the phrase "you know" (tm), and the fine is doubled because it was used during House testimony.


What causes the problems with older wrestlers?

"...that's what [the guys over 40] feel like the real travesty is, this schedule...and then you combine it when their 15 minutes of fame is over, they weren't that famous to begin with, they didn't save any money, they are depressed as hell, and it is a sad existence."



Do the wrestlers feel like they have to use steroids to get the top spots?

"I have chubby, I have very chubby, I have downright fat guys that work for me, and they are accepted and they are pushed as hard as anybody else."



Are the wrestlers really taking these chair shots to the head?

"I mean, they know how to protect themselves....But I do notice a few dummies that just sit there and take it and then we have to tell them backstage you have to, you know, put your hands up."

CHA-CHING!

Do the wrestlers do more extreme things now that people know it's not real?

"They are not doing anything now that they didn't do before..and really what it is, it is no different for a movie. For a period of time, you sit there and you suspend disbelief. You suspend disbelief that Tom Cruise...really is this person in Mission Impossible. It is the same thing here."

We couldn't have said it better ourselves. But we have said it.

We encourage you to take the time (a LOT of time; it's over 100 pages) and read the whole interview. It's rather interesting. Because of that, we here at LOL, Wresslin' would like to salute Ms. Dixie Carter for her honesty and her ability to understand what drives the common wrestling fan.

Also, we'd both totally hit that

Thursday, December 25, 2008

The 12 LOLs of Christmas

SEASON'S BEATINGS!

We wish you a Merry Christmas! That's right, it's time to relax with the family, enjoy some good food, and open all the presents! And if you're reading this, it's also time to hide away in a side room and surf LOL, Wresslin'!

We appreciate that; we really do. Never let it be said that the Laugh Twins are Grinches or Scrooges or Mr. Potters. NO! We love to give, and in the spirit of the season, here is The Twelve Days of Christmas...all wrapped up in a big LOL, Wresslin' bow!

On the twelfth day of Christmas, the Laugh Twins gave to thee...

12 KELLY KELLYS
Can we just stop here?

11 WWE PLUSH BEARS

10 CELEBRITIES WRESTLING

9 J.B.L. KNOCKOUTS

8 MASHEEN GUNZ

7 MIKE KNOX BEARDS

6 STONE COLD STUNNERS

5 ORTON HOGS!

4 DRUNK SCOTT HALLS

3 JAKE ROBERTS SUICIDES

2 MR. CENAS

AND THE GREATEST WRESTLING BLOG IN HISTORY!!!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving!

We're a sentimental bunch here at LOL, Wresslin'. We love the holidays! Christmas, Easter, Wrestlemania, it's hard to pick our favorite. And even though we can't choose, Thanksgiving will always be near the top.

However, Thanksgiving is more than just debauchery for us. No, we actually like to take a minute and be thankful for all the good in our lives. So here's a brief list of what made 2008 so great:

Wrestling

Guitars

Dogs

Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe

Steady employment

John Cena (!!!)

Masheen Gunz

Internet forums

Our readers.

Randy Orton's lower torso.

Scott Hall's awful life.

Bruce Campbell

The Dark Knight

Ric Flair

Roddy Piper

Family, friends, blah blah (yaaaawwwnnn!)

It doesn't matter what your list is. It's just important to remember the good and push out the bad, even for one day. Because no matter what, you're not Jake Roberts (unless you actually are Jake Roberts reading this. We know you're out there, Snake.)

Monday, October 13, 2008

Scott Hall has an Answer

This weekend taught us a valuable lesson. Earth-53 doesn’t stop just because we don’t have to go to our day jobs. As we all remember, a few weeks ago, Jake the Snake took out his old bag of tricks again (Good Lord that joke works on so many levels…). Well, not to be outdone, Scott Hall is here to remind us that yes, he’s still alive, and yes, he’s still belligerent. Observe the following from the Roast of the Iron Shiek at the Ring Legends convention in New Jersey this weekend (classy language ensues):






















Now, before we get into what caused such a ruckus, we’d like to react to the event as it happened. First off, it appears that Mr. Hall may have been under the influence of alcohol. We don't want to wildly speculate here, but saying Scott Hall was drinking is not all that wild and probably not speculation. However, what was more alarming was how Scott Hall was doing the crotch chop in real life. Seriously. Look how ridiculous that is. Oh, ha ha. He’s got your party…down there. Oh man, he wants to invite King Kong Bundy to a homoerotic encounter.

Sick.

Burn.

And what caused all the brouhaha? The Bad Guy did not appreciate one of the jokes, and if you can believe this, it was over a joke that wasn’t about him! The pariah, the paragon of virtue that graced the world with “Hey, yo…” got upset over the following “Roundboy” Jimmy Graham (who?) guffaw:

After the Sheik and Hacksaw Jim got caught sniffing coke in the parking lot, his (The Iron Shiek) career fell faster than Owen Hart

LOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!1111BBQshiftoneone11!!

We have two rules here at LoL, Wresslin'. Be funny and don’t be unfunny. And honestly? That joke’s pretty funny. Tasteless? You bet. But it’s not a bad joke. We can see the case being made that Owen died of a tragic accident, and not through steroid abuse that led to him hanging himself via weight machine, so perhaps it’s not fair. Scott Hall may have loved Owen Hart, and that joke brought back some hard memories. Maybe he’s justified in his reaction.


Or maybe he’s just a man with a problem who can’t take responsibility for things in his life and needs to learn some inner strength to let things go.


Our final take is that it was a comedy roast of the Iron Shiek (why?), and jokes like this are to be expected. We would have liked to have heard the joke and the crowd reaction to it, and we’d have liked to hear some of the other jokes as well. Was this the worst one of the night? Were there Chris Benoit jokes? What is off limits to talk about for these old guards of kayfabe?

When reached for comment Adam stated “Of course this happened in central New Jersey. I swear, the beach areas I’m from are cool.”




We don't have the energy anymore.

UPDATE: More information coming out about Chico's weekend off Exit 8A: