OH BABY, I like it Raw! Lean, Green hosting machine

For a theme song to accompany this post, please press play and enjoy...

The parade of celebrity guest hosts continued last Monday with our GM for the night, Seth Green!(?) This is completely logical and focused purely on the product, not a thinly-to-not-at-all veiled cross-promotion.

By the way, the season premiere of Robot Chicken on Adult Swim is July 26th at 11:30/10:30 PM.

As Seth and Triple H talked in the middle of the ring about how much they like each other (and how Hunter is going to be on the previously mentioned season premiere of Robot Chicken), Randy "King Ding-a-Ling" Orton had to come and ruin everything. I guess he thinks he can do whatever he wants since he's the WWE Champion and all.

Randy accused Seth Green of trying to play with the big boys, and Seth did what any reasonable person would do in his situation - put himself in a match against Orton and Legacy.

Above: poor assessment of the situation

Of course, Seth will have back-up in the form of Triple H and John Cena, two men who are about to fight each other for the belt. This will work out just how he planned it.

Seth also made a six-Diva tag bikini tag match for later in the night, so that should be ni-

DID HE SAY SIX DIVAS IN BIKINIS???!!

I have to lie down. On my back, of course.

One team won this match, I think. Really, I blacked out. Too much blood redistribution.

Poorly disguised innuendo.

Alright, I believe Raw continued after this, but I can't be sure. If it did, here's what I think should have happened. Jericho confronted Seth in his "office," because we can't have people going around Raw giving the fans what they want. Jericho said he had a big announcement. Seth said his Robot Chicken Roller Skating Tour is on the road now. This should be good.

Before I had a chance to strap wheels to my feet, Primo was in the ring cutting a promo on his brother Carlito. At least I think that's what he was doing; I don't speak Caribbean. However, much to the surprise of everyone, the Miz answered the call to the ring. I guess Primo should have specified which cock a-hole with stupid hair he wanted to fight.

The match was about how you'd expect it, until Carlito finally showed up, not dressed to wrestle at all. Primo took a swipe at him, which gave Miz the opening he needed to do one move and end the match. Then Carlito entered the ring and spit apple on his brother.

In case you didn't get the memo, he's a heel now.

Well, last week Jack Swagger called MVP an ex-con in his own VIP Lounge, and despite this being the truth, we can't let that get in the way of a good fight! So MVP met Swagger in the ring for what's sure to be a modern day classic. You know (tm), there's just something I don't like about that Swagger fella. I mean, I know he's an up-and-comer, but he just strikes me the wrong way...

I just can't quite put my finger on it.

So they fought. Let me see if I can dig up a photo of the match for you. I know it's around here somewhere-

Oh, haha, how'd that get in there? Oh well. I recover quickly.

Jericho finally comes to the ring for his big announcement. Edge is injured. Uh...we knew that already! Come on, Jericho, we're not that dumb.

Jericho said that at Night of Champions, he'd be choosing a new tag team partner to defend his Unified Tag Championship with. WHHAAAAT?? Who's it going to be??! I have no clue.

Ugh, as if.

Seth Green apparently wasn't pleased with how their little office chat went earlier in the evening, so he booked Jericho in a match with Mark Henry, despite Lionheart being completely unprepared to wrestle. Hey Seth, the man hasn't even taped up yet! He could get injured! Way to go, jerk!!

Oh, did I mention Robot Chicken is premiering this Sunday? Because it is.

Hornswoggle and Chavo had a match. Really?? Really, WWE??

That's better.

We're transported backstage, where Legacy is discussing their strategy for the match later tonight. Why would they allow in a camera man during this meeting? Seems counter-productive, but I'm not the WWE Champion, so what do I know?

That's right.

Randy says for Teddy and Cody to take on Cena and Triple H, because he's got something special planned for Seth Green. So Orton gets his buds to contend with the two biggest guys in the match, while he fights a man that barely qualifies as a full-grown adult. That's strategy.

Apparently Big Show has figured out that it's too much work feuding against the big guys and has decided to pick on the smallest mid-carders he can find. Last week (two weeks ago!), I was Evan Bourne and Kofi Kingston. This week (last week!), he went with only one of them - Evan Bourne. The way the match went was pretty simple. Bourne was some small amount of cargo, and Big Show was a pissed-off dock worker getting paid by the load. It was not pretty at all.

That dude needs a raise, because he just went out there and basically rode every single traveling carnival ride without any safety restrictions. Congratulations on your future with the company, Evan!

It's finally time for the main event, and this one should be good. Just like that season premiere of Robot Chicken, which will be on Adult Swim next weekend! (Check your local listings!) Seth got tagged in while Cody was in the ring, and he got in an obligatory punch to the head. We all cheered! Then Cody realized that he's finally fighting someone smaller than him, so he went after Seth, who rolled out the ring and ran. Triple H caught Cody on the outside with a clothesline. We cheered again!

Otherwise, this was a pretty standard tag match, and things ended how they tend to do...

Alright Trips, I'm a big fan, but honestly? Always with the sledgehammer? How have you not destroyed every other person in the WWE by now? I'm pretty sure even I could at least end Orton's career by using a sledgehammer.

Anyway, the match ends in a DQ, after Cody brought in a chair. Cena and Triple H feign like their going to fight, and then they lift Seth Green above their shoulders, and we all cheer madly!

Tune in tonight, when our guest host will be...(spins wheel)...ZZ Top! 9/8c on USA!